In the beginning there was Dave. All of the friends that came before Dave really did not count. I was too young, as were they. We did not know what friendship was about. Dave lived 4 houses to my right as I was navigating the first part of my teenage years. He looked more like me than my brother did and so everybody assumed that we were brothers. We kind of were. Brothers of the heart. We would play catch for hours and never get tired. When my real brother would beat me up (which was not an infrequent occurance) Dave would run home and hide. He said he was afraid that my brother would mistake the two of us and beat him up instead of me. That made sense at the time and I never held it against him. Dave was in my wedding years later. The last time I saw him was when he came by my apartment to introduce me to his fiancee. There was no way on the planet that Dave should have been marrying this girl. He was either in to her for big money or it was going to be a "sympathy marriage." I never saw or heard from him again.

Next came Kling. Kling was short for "Klingensmith" which was his last name. His first name was John but I don't remember anybody ever calling him that. Kling and I went to college together. He was about 5 years older than I and served as a helicopter mechanic in Vietnam. Together we went to Trinity Christian College. Our team mascot was the "Trolls." If you picture a troll in your head and add 50 pounds to him you will know exactly what Kling looked like. Beard and all. He liked to have fun. His on-campus job was in the maintenance department. That gave him keys to everything students are not supposed to have keys to. One chilly morning the campus woke up to the smell of a nice fire in the chapel fireplace. That was not unusual. What WAS unusual was that the smoke was billowing from a toilet which had been cemented to the chimney of the administration building. I remember knowing instantly who had done it. Everybody suspected but nobody could confirm anything. Kling and I went to a local restaurant one day to grab a bite before evening classes. He chose the New Brunswick Stew. One thing about Kling is that he had cornered the market on Oshkosh over-alls. It was pretty much all he ever wore. Well, Kling did not finish his stew on this particular evening and I watched as he poured the remainder of it into his bib pocket. I was not shocked. I knew Kling. I figure he wanted it for a late night dorm snack. I WAS shocked when we went to pay for our meal. He stood at the glass counter with the cash register on it ... and began heaving the big deep heaves of a man about to regurgitate. He leaned down until his head almost touched the glass and made unmistakable "hurling" noises... while he unbuttoned his bib pocket and allowed the remaining stew to flow out. The he stood up, wiped his mouth, dropped a five on the counter and strolled out the door. Kling was in my wedding too. That was the last time I saw him. I heard he lives in Utah someplace.

I have a history of making interesting friends.

Most of them come, stay for a while, and then go.

Grace was a dainty woman in her sixties and she made chainsaws. Hoss was a TWA pilot who could not stand on a chair to change a light bulb because of his fear of heights. Mike was a messianic jew who swore at 5,000 teenages because one of them threw a light bulb into the street from the window of a hotel room on the 20th floor. He was not sure which one did it so he swore at them all.

I think you get the picture.

My favorite friends are the ones that stick around. For years. Many years. Oh, they might move a thousand miles away but they are still around in that surprise phone call one evening kind of way. They manage to find their way by my house every now and then and they always have a spare bedroom available when I am in their town. Some of them live nearby. We try not to take each other for granted but I know that we do. Otherwise we would hug more often and linger a little longer across the table from each other. It is part of life to do that. We don't mean to. It's just that our busy lives are constantly hounding us to get up and get something done. If you are reading this you are probably one of those friends or maybe a stranger that just dropped in to see what is going on. (Not much.) And if you are one of those friends ... you know it. I am tempted here to start listing names but if I did I would miss somebody very important to me for sure. And I do not want to do that. Never.

There are at least two tests of real friendship. One is found in what you do today. The other is found in whether or not you will still be around tomorrow. I am not listing those tests in hopes that you will measure yourself. I am listing them so that I can remember to do well in grading the guy I call "me." It hurts when a friend lets me down. It hurts much worse when I let a friend down. I can forgive the friend much more easily than I can forgive myself.

And by the way, if you are a current friend and you do something really weird ... I already know it. I just didn't mention it because ... well ... a real friend wouldn't tell on you. But if you dump me ... you are toast in my next blog.

You ever wonder if anyone is watching? Like ... right NOW. It's nearly midnight and my house is dark. Two of my three kids have moved away. The third is locked into his room for the night. Debbie is asleep. Bailey is hidden under her blanket in her little "Bailey Cage." So it appears to be just me and Tess. Oh, Tess is my laptop. Her name is short for "testosterone." You do not want to know why.

But here is what I mean. There is a really cool verse in the bible known as Hebrews 12: 1. It says "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

I want to know what that means.

You know what I like to do? Ok, this is weird. I admit it. But it's true. I like to go to the car wash. The automatic one next to the hand held ones. It's not the kind that pulls you through but the kind you put a few bucks into and then drive into the bay. Then this machine walks around you and washes your car. I like to do it in my Mustang. And I put in the extra dollars to make it do that "triple shine quadruple buff up real sharp" kind of wax. When that stuff spews out on my car it reminds me of what it would be like to be in an exploding bubble gumball factory. It's all sorts of colors and hit hits your car in the most beautiful essence of foam. And here is where it gets really good. It totally covers the windows. So when I do it, when I pay the price, I find myself surrounded in beautiful colors and TOTALLY invisable to the world. I timed it today. It lasts less than 40 seconds before the high powered rinser thing comes around and re-exposes me to the world.

But, oh what a wonderful 40 seconds!

What is it in me that makes me like to be invisable? Incognito? There and yet ... unseen? Really, I am not sure. Maybe it was growing up in the suburbs of a mega-city like Chicago. Maybe it's being a minister that gets a lot of phone calls and visits. I just like being alone sometimes. Completely alone. Invisable to the world.

And then Hebrews 12: 1 comes along. I wish I knew what it means. I mean REALLY means. I have all sorts of theories. Yet I am not positive about any of them. I did not play a lot of sports when I was young. I loved sports but I was not particularly good at them. Baseball was my thing. I am sure I was quite mediocre. But I do remember that every now and then ... not often ... but occasionally ... I would do something that just took my own breath away. Like once, I hit a baseball that went so far it cleared our ball diamond, crossed the street, snuck between two houses and landed on the fly in a back yard. I don't know how far it was but it was far enough that I didn't run around the bases. I watched it go, land, bounce, and vanish from my view. The center fielder stood still and watched as well. So did both teams. The pitcher stood especially still. He was my 40-something next door neighbor. He was an iron worker who was home early from "walking the high steel" on the construction of Sears Tower in Chicago's loop. His name was Jack. Jack told me later that it was a curve ball that actually curved. He was impressed but since I did not realize that it had curved ... well, I probably tried to put the bat where I thought the ball was going ... and I missed my aim. Fortunately the ball did too and I totally lucked out and hit the longest home run in our playground history.

And then there was the time I was playing centerfield for our church softball team. Again, I was not that good. I played because I love the game and they needed 10 guys. We were playing one evening and this guy on the opposing team hit a huge fly ball to deep left-center field. I went after it. It was a total given that the ball would drop and probably roll for a home run. For some reason I just honed in on it as though I actually knew what I was doing. To this day I remember running and watching the flight of the ball. It was like some computer kicked on in my head and just guided me laser-like to the place where the ball should drop. I never looked at the ground. I didn't look around to make sure I wasn't about to collide with the left fielder. I just ran. Then I stuck my glove out. I felt the ball smack into the webbing. And it held. As I looked toward the infield I remember seeing the base runner stop just past second base. He just looked at me like he didn't believe that I had actually caught the ball. Somewhere in the back of my head I heard my team mates going crazy. Hey, it was the best catch I ever made. I am now fifty years old and I still remember it. What a feeling ...

Hebrews 12: 1 talks about this "great could of witnesses" that's out there somewhere cheering us on. Who are they? Are they angels? Are they christians that have already departed planet earth and are now watching to see how the game plays out? I am not sure. I sometimes wonder about them though. Do they ever go nuts over a "play" that I make? Or do they look at me and say, "Man, he must be tired. He can barely run to first base." When I really "nail one" for the Kingdom do they go bonkers from their perch in the stands? I wonder.

Whoever these witnesses are they have seen my good and my not so good. They have seen my ugly and my uglier. I wonder what they think these days as I try to walk out some of the hardest things God has ever asked me to do. I know they are cheering "for" me. But am I doing anything to make them cheer "because" of me?

Man, I hope so. You see, it matters to me. It really does. I want to hit one "out of the park" for my King. I want the stands to "go crazy folks, go crazy!" But I worry. I am really tired at this particular moment if my history. Mentally. Physically. Certainly emotionally. I hope they are not praying for a rain-out so that we can start over again from scratch.

What if my parents are in the stands? Or the guy that baptized me? Or my favorite college professor who taught me so much that he actually came to remind me of C.S. Lewes? Is he in the stands? Is Moses watching? Paul? (Oh man, no, not Paul!)

What about Jesus? He must be there. He'd most certainly come to my game. Wouldn't he? He'd cheer. He is my coach. He is my manager. He is my owner. He would come to my game.

So excuse me for a second. I need to speak to my great cloud ...

"Hey, guys! Thanks for coming! I am so glad you showed up. I need the cheering section. Do me a favor, will ya? Let her really RIP and ROAR for a while. Maybe even loud enough where I can kind of hear you. That would be so cool. I am a little bit deaf these days. So, if it isn't asking too much ... could you please cheer really loud? Thanks."

Ok, that's all. I was just wondering about it. Somebody is up there listening. I have to strap on my spikes again in the morning and run a good race. See you at the track...

It was only yesterday. "Yesterday" in that 15 years ago kind of way. She was 9. He was 7. The youngest he was 5. I stood in the hallway right outside their bedroom doors. I could not see any of them from my vantage point. Yet I could feel the presence of all of them. They were asleep. I had just checked to see. The clock chimed 1AM. I leaned against the wall and whispered these words. "Thank you, Father. They are all safe. I understand that these days will not last long. Those who have been there say they will be gone before I know it. I think they are probably right. But thank you that tonight they are all at home. Safe. Help me to remember this moment. Amen."

She lives in west St. Louis county now. She is a school teacher and the wife of a wonderful man. Together they make nearly the perfect couple. I could not be more proud of her. These days she is not just my daughter, she is my friend. I call her when I need to hear one of my children say something clear-headed and logical. She certainly is all of that and more.

The oldest he sleeps in the room next to mine. Oh, he has come and gone over the years. A ski trip here. A Chicago trip there. He has jetted off to the west coast. So far he has always managed to find his way back to his roots. That is a very good thing but it cannot, and should not, last. Now he is making rustling noises about moving to the northwest side of Chicago. His reason's are nothing less than spectacular. He wants to serve an internship at, in my opinion, one of the best churches on the planet. I will do whatever I can do to help make it happen.

And today I drove away and left the youngest he in his new temporary home on the edge of Council Bluffs, Iowa. I have buried two parents, walked a daughter down the aisle, and ministered over more tragedies than I can begin to count. But this "driving away" was, by far, the hardest thing I have ever done. Oh, I left him exactly where he is supposed to be. God has left fingerprints in his heart and pointed him to Council Bluffs to serve as a semester missionary at a wonderful little Baptist church. While there he will work with youth, children, and anyone else that the pastor directs him to. He might even change a light bulb or two. I've done it myself while serving on more than one church staff. There is nothing at all humiliating about it. The call to serve leads us in many directions. And tonight he is preparing to serve. He, his mother, and I all had tears in our eyes as we got in one last "family hug" and prayed together.

That is when a "God thing" happened. Christopher's new pastor, Dan, pulled up at that moment. I walked to him and shook his hand as he got out of his pick-up. I told him that his timing was perfect as we were just leaving. He could easily see the emotion that had built up in all of us. He assured me that he would "take good care of my boy." Then I walked back to Chris and told him that his dad had to leave but his mentor was there. We hugged. I kissed his cheek. We drove away. I watched him stare after us in my rear view mirror. I should not have done that. I will never forget that sight.

So tonight they are not all home. Actually, at his moment none of them are. The oldest he will drag in eventually from an evening out with a very special young woman. You know what this oldest one did while I delivered his brother to Iowa? He power-washed the house. He trimmed all of the shrubs and cleaned their mulched landscaping. And I had not asked him to do a bit of it. He could have slept in. He could have watched tv or played X-Box. But he power-washed the house.

Don't ever tell me that praying for your kids does not make a difference. Do not suggest to me that making every effort to live a godly life out before them does not matter. It is not because I am great because I am not. There mother IS great but that is not the reason either. She and I have "gone 3 for 3" with our kids. And it is because God is good. And He loves them. And they decided to love Him back. They still screw-up sometimes. But they get that from their "dad" and not from their "Father."

Three for three. It's worth standing in the hallways late nights praying for.

I do not know why but I suddenly feel compelled to put to writing some things that I have been thinking for a while. Maybe they will mean nothing to you. That's ok. I need to see them in print. If they help you, great. If they do not, well, might I suggest you go to www.straightdope.com. It's fun. And it might teach you something. Probably not. But maybe.

Anyway ...

Have you ever felt so drained, so broken, so disillusioned, that you were not certain what to make of it all? Have you ever stopped to wonder if you are correct about all you believe or if maybe you have made some major mistakes? If you have not done these things or felt these ways, log off. You'll find nothing here that you need to read. However, if you have ...

The calling to a personal "undoing" is similar to a call to sack cloth and ashes. It is about brokenness and finding yourself destitute except for the presence of God alone. Nobody can walk it with you or understand what it is doing to you. It is you and God. It can be agony. It is far from enjoyable ... until the season is completed and then you will stand in wonder and amazement at "what God has wrought." Sara Groves sings a song about someday wanting to meet Job because she wants to know what he knows. Yeah. Me too. It seems to me that you don't really get to choose anything in these seasons. You cannot determine the depth to which you will descend, the degree to which you will resist, or the changes that God will make in you during the battle. All you can do is live today. How stark. How utterly barren the landscape. Books will call out to you demanding to be read so that you will understand more fully and quotes of those gone before will ring true in your heart. They will be a comfort but only in that they will remind you of the many who have traveled these paths before you. They cannot answer your deepest questions or tell you which forks in the road to take. Read them but do not hang on to them too tightly. Do not let them replace His Word. It seems God is only after one thing in these times. You. Naked and alone. You are "hungry to follow..." and that is good! I have found that the hunger never quite gets quenched. That is good too because it drives me to the next step ... the next level. When the hunger died ... as it did once ... I became very afraid. Yet even then God rescued me. He will do that. No matter where you find yourself or what you confront. Not matter what is taken from you. If the waters swamp your boat or the desert cracks beneath your feet you can count on Him to rescue you. You do not have to even have a conscious "wanting" Him to. He will do it anyway. Because He is in charge and He loves you that much. So let go of what ever railing you might be holding on to and let yourself sink into the hugeness of His love. And grace. And sheer raw power.

He wounds so that He might heal.

Grace over, under, around, and in you this day...

I was doing well. I mean, it was a pretty good morning. God had been good to me and most people had been nice too. I went to staff meeting and everyone was pleasant. I ran a couple of errands. No sweat. I stopped by my house. I was a little hungry. Nothing major. I grabbed the last banana on the kitchen counter. I peeled it, thowing the yellow God-made wrapper onto the already overflowing trashcan. I made my exit and continued on my daily duties.
It happened about 45 minutes later. It started with a rumble in my tummy. Then another. Then it began moving upward. No, not the rumble. The banana. It didn't stop until it was back in the light of day. (Personal note: If you have to eat something that you expect to throw up, a banana is not a bad choice. It pretty much tastes the same going both ways.)
I went home. I fell onto the love seat in our family prayer room. I prayed to die. God said, "No." Darn. A couple of hours later I was feeling better and I passed through the kitchen, noticing the browned banana peal on the garbage pile. I picked it up and examined it. What could possibly be in a banana that would make you hurl?
Now I know. I found what appeared to be two ... TWO ... spider legs. They were on the peel. How many legs do spiders have? I do not know. But I know that they have more than two. I suspect that the remainder went with the banana (not to mention the little spider torso) into my mouth and into my tummy. And they had a round-trip ticket.
There actually is a point to this story. Several points. First, don't eat spiders. Second, if you do eat spiders stay close to a garbage can or at least a paper bag. And finally, chew your food at least 16 times per bite. One for each leg.
God, thank you for spiders. If you keep a running count on them like you do on sparrow's, well, I am afraid I made you get out your eraser today. Sorry about that. I'll try to stick with cows and chickens from now on.

Welcome to my little corner of cyber-space 

You think YOU’VE got problems? Oh sure. Maybe you got a flat tire today or your dog got lose and you had to chase her down. Could be that you fell flat on your face in front of all of your friends. Maybe you bit down too hard on a piece of candy and broke a tooth. That’s nutten … I have dual ear infections.

That’s right. One in each ear. (I find it’s always best to spread them out.) I was feeling pretty well in that “grading on a curve” kind of way when I got to the doctor’s office. Yeah, I was there because my left ear had been hurting a bit. Then it started sounding like somebody was holding a glass of water over it. Finally Bailey the Killer Beagle barked today and I knew I had a problem. I actually yelled so loud from the pain that she stopped barking and ran to her cage. So I called the doctor. The nurse said, “Come on in.” Easy for her to say. I’m in Bethalto. They are in West County. But I went.

Things went downhill from there. First they told me that my temperature was 101. That rather surprised me. Then they looked in my ear and told me it was infected. No surprise there. Except they said it looked like it was on fire inside. Next they broke the news that my right ear was almost as bad. Hmmm. It had not even hurt yet. All of this culminated with their revealing that it was going to get worse before it gets better. The doc said that by Sunday (preachen day) I would most likely be ABOUT to start getting better. He expects that I will be hearing my own voice echo in my head on Sunday. Monday things will begin to improve. He thought this was all funny. A preacher having to hear himself preach. I mentioned that he might deal with me when I am sick but someone like me will do the bury’en when he’s dead. He prescribed antibiotics and codeine.

But do you see what I mean? You don’t have any problems. Oh, I don’t mean that my pain is worse than yours or that my problem is longer lasting. I simply mean that what with the predicted echo in my head and all I will have to listen to myself preach TWICE this Sunday.
Ok, I said all of that for one simple reason. You needed to smile. You did. Admit it! In one of his songs the Christian artist Chris Rice sings to God, “Do you ever play tricks on the angels?” You know, that is an interesting question! I was not smart enough to wonder that. But isn’t God good! (Answer: Yes.) God is not only good. He is almighty. He is sovereign. He is grace-full. He is life. He is truth. He is healing. He is just. He is eternal. He is love. He is peace. He is joy. He is holy. He is near. He is far. He is deep. He is wide. He is food for the hungry. He is water for the thirsty. He is rest for the weary. He is security. He is fearsome. He is stronger than strong. He is wiser than wise. He is smarter than smart.

He is.

Really.

And he has you and me in His hand. He has never dropped one yet. You will not be the first.

I remember sitting on the football field bleachers in my high school gym class. It was 1972 and I was a junior at Lincoln-Way High School in New Lenox, Illinois. We had just finished running a 3 mile cross-country course. The coach said it was to “make us tough.” I still believe it was to make us throw-up. He timed all of us. One guy was so fast that, as we watched him from across the track his legs looked like rapidly spinning fan blades. You know what I mean. They just all blurred together. I do not know how fast anybody ran that day but I remember that the coach called him down out of the bleachers to announce his time. He finished fifteen minutes before I did. The other guys and I sat in the bleachers and realized that sometimes fifteen minutes makes all the difference in the world.

Years later in August of 1982 I sat on the edge of my bed in total frustration. I was planning on finishing my final semester of college and today was the last day to pay for the classes I had already registered for. I was $1,200 short. I had just checked the mail and my promised scholarship money had not come in. I was tired of school. Debbie and I had a nearly two-year-old daughter and another baby on the way. I was working a full time job as a youth pastor and a part time job driving a school bus for a local high school. I had to take 18 hours of classes over the next months or come back again in the spring. As it turned out this would be the spring that God would choose to move us to Bethalto. I was aware that Bethalto was seeking a youth pastor and believed that God was calling me there … I mean here. It was 4:45 in the afternoon. Trinity Christian College’s business office closed at 5:00. It was a 30-minute drive from my apartment to the campus. Even if I had the money … which I did not … I could never make it. So I prayed. Then I decided to call the college and make sure that today was indeed the final day. As I called I spoke to a well-known woman working in the offices named Betty. She said, “Is this Ron Woods?” I told her that it was. She said that yes, today was the last day. And then she said she was glad I had called. My scholarship money had arrived at the office today by mistake. It was suppose to come to my home. She asked if it would be alright if she went ahead and marked my bill paid so that I could start classes on Monday. I said that would be fine. As I hung up I thanked God for His kindness and I realized that sometimes fifteen minutes makes all of the difference in the world.

About a week before my mother passed away last September she told me a story. It seems that two years before I was born she prayed a special prayer. My parents had been told that they could not have any children. So my mom prayed and told God that if He would give her children she would give them back to Him. They would be His to do with as He chose. My brother was born nine months later. I was born two years later. As many of you know my brother and I have both been pastor’s all of our adult lives. I really don’t see either of us stopping any time soon. Interestingly enough I accepted Jesus as my Lord when I was just turning 13. That was fifteen years after my mother prayed her prayer of promise to God. It occurred to me when she told me that story that sometimes fifteen years makes all of the difference in the world.

As I said, I accepted Jesus when I was 13 years old. I remember sitting in the very back pew of our suburban Southern Baptist Church. I was not just in the back pew I was in the back corner of the back pew. I was there for a reason. It was Saturday night and our church was having a youth revival. The night before I had felt God directing me down the aisle to pray and ask Christ into my heart. I told Him that I was afraid but that I would obey Him if I didn’t have to go alone. I asked Him to send 10 people down the aisle ahead of me. My hands sweated as I counted how many people went forward to talk to the pastor. The count reached … 10. And it stopped there. I did not go. I chickened out. The next night the guest evangelist spoke about what hell must be like. As I sat alone I did not make any deals with God. I just asked Him to forgive me. When the time came I walked the entire length of the church and prayed a prayer with a college student asking Christ into my life. God honored my prayer and made my heart His home. 15 years later I had completed 5 years of volunteer youth ministry, a 6-month stint in a church as a part time staff youth pastor, and nearly 4 years in another church as a full time staff pastor. At that time, 15 years after receiving God’s free gift of eternal life He led me to walk in the doors of FBC Bethalto as your Assistant Pastor. What a ride! You see, sometimes 15 years makes all of the difference in the world.

What are you willing to do to honor and obey God? Are you willing to do anything? Let me rephrase that. Are you willing to do ANYTHING? And not only are you willing but are you ready? You see, God wants you and I to be willing and ready to do whatever He asks us to do in 15 minutes or in 15 years. The scripture says we are to be “instant in season and out.” (2 Timothy 4: 2) When God says “go” … go. When God says “do” … do. When God says “don’t” … don’t. When God says “stay” … stay. Instant. In season. Out of season. 15 minutes from now. 15 years from now. All of the timing is up to Him. Aren’t you glad? Jesus came and died. He said that one of the reasons was to give us “freedom.” (Luke 4: 18) That means we get to choose. We are free. Free to obey Him. Free to disobey Him. Really, truly, radically, free. Yes, there are consequences to disobeying and they are very different from the consequences to obeying. If you are His He will still love you if you disobey. But there WILL be consequences. However you are free.

So how about it? What are you going to be doing in 15 minutes? What are you going to be doing in 15 years? I plan on being in love with Jesus. I plan on following His direction even if I find myself doing it all alone. I don’t just plan on it, I am making plans to assure that it happens that way. I am actively following His directions TODAY to make sure that I am where He wants me to be in life TOMORROW. Or in 15 minutes. Or in 15 years. It makes me no difference. Care to join me?

Just wondering.

Hey, there is something I have spent some time thinking about over the past week. It is simply this ... "How good IS God anyway?" I have always believed that God is the ultimate good. I still do believe that. God is good in the most radical sense. But I have to admit that there is a problem. The problem is not God's goodness. It is the harshness and the "realness" of life.

A couple of men got burned very badly at Olin this week. I mean REALLY badly. If I understand things correctly there was a leak in an "O ring" that caused oil to spray out, landing on a heater. The oil then ignited in the air ... the air which the men were inhaling. Their burns are horrific. We need to be praying for these guys and their families. Their lives hang in the balance. And, of course, we need to be standing by to assist if there is any way in which we as a part of the Body of Christ are needed.

And then there is a wonderful little gift to the world that we need to be praying for as well. This gift is a bundled up little boy named "Reid Scott Norvell." I got to meet Reid a few hours after he was born. He's a great looking little guy. We crossed paths when I went to visit him at the neo-natal ICU at Cardinal Glennon Hospital. Reid has a couple of problems. Life-long challenges are what they really are. You see, Reid was born with a mild form of Downs Syndrome. Exactly how mild will be known in time. He is not even a week old yet and he has already had major surgery to repair a messed up intestinal tract. His heart is not up to par either. He will be having surgery on that important organ in a few months. Reid is one of ours. He is the son of Scott and Richelle Norvell. They are a great couple. Scott is one of our deacons. Richelle is involved in ... well ... everything. They love God. Reid was welcomed into this world with hugs, kisses, and open arms. What a lucky kid! I can hardly wait for Reid to show up at our worship service. It will be so great to hold him up in front of our congregation and praise God for this wonderful creation of His!

Many people would look at these two events and wonder "why" God would allow situations like these to invade His world. I have a few thoughts about that. Let me share them with you. You see, life is not about God making us happy or healthy. Life is about God making us more like Him. And sometimes in order to do that He allows hard things to enter our lives. I do not believe that these things are "punishment." Rather they are the effects of living in a sinful, fallen world. A world where sometimes things do not work out the way we would like them to work out. But every time one of these things happen our loving heavenly Father is standing by waiting for us to "be Jesus with skin on." As Christians we know that the Holy Spirit of the Holy God lives within us. And He speaks to us. He gives us directions on how to live out life in ways that glorify Him. And then He speaks through us. We are, the scripture says, "Ambassador's for Christ." (I Corinthians 5: 20) God loves those guys in the burn unit at St. Johns Mercy. He loves their families. He hurts for them. He wants them to turn to Him for understanding and comfort. God loves Reid Scott Norvell at Cardinal Glennon Children's Hospital. And He loves Reid's family too. He is going to empower them to face the challenges that await them.

And how about you? What is your challenge? Are you mad? Are you hurt? Are you sick or injured or just plain tired? Is your car broken down and you don't have any money to repair it? Is your job in jeopardy? Is your marriage falling apart? Are you lonely? Do you struggle with a secret addiction? Are your kids messing up and refusing to listen to you? Are you wanting a husband or a wife or a child so badly that you can hardly stand it and yet God doesn't seem to give you the desire of your heart?

Yeah. I know how you feel. Really I do. I have faced some of those same issues. But let me give you a piece of advice. It's free. Remember the goodness of God? You will see it again in the land of the living. I believe that with all of my heart. Psalm 27: 13 insists that it's true. I am not brave enough to call the Psalmist a liar. Are you? No, I didn't think so.

So how about it? Are you going to admit that, while you might hurt really badly, God is able, willing, and desiring to use your circumstances to make you more like Him? Do you really want to hang on to your issues? It is really easy to wallow in pain and defeat. Sometimes it even feels good. For awhile. Then it gets very, very old. And it starts to eat you up. From the inside out. Bitterness begins to show up. And we all know what bitterness does. It kills. Hey, don't let it do that. Your Heavenly Father has a plan for your problem. But you have to submit it to Him. And then you have to lay it down. The problem might not go away. But let it rest in His hands and not your hands. And then let Him get on with His plan for your LIFE. Because your life is bigger than your problem. And God is bigger than both.

He really is good, you know. He loves me when I am ugly. He loves me when I am mean. He loves me when I don't trust Him. He loves me when I yell at Him. He loves me. He loves you too.

Welcome to our world Reid. God has a perfect plan for your wonderful life. And we are going to help you find it.

First Baptist Church is a place that prays. It has been that for the nearly 23 years that they have allowed me to be called “Pastor Ron.” But we need to pray more. We need to target our prayers. If they have not noticed, the door on the prayer room (from the inside hallway) is now unlocked during church services and office hours. That’s a very good thing. Because this would be a very good time to pray.

Untold thousands of people were killed yesterday as we were eating our Christmas turkeys and enjoying the company of friends and family. It all happened on the other side of the world when some rocks on the bottom of the ocean shifted against each other and caused an almost unheard of 9.0 earthquake. As if that were not bad enough the quake caused a tsunami. This massive wall of water moved at roughly 300 miles per hour. Vacationers on the beaches were enjoying a sunny day with no idea of the devastation that was about to strike. The pictures on television are reminiscent of the falling of the twin towers after the terrorist attack in 2001. But this time the cause was “natural” instead of “man inflicted.” And many, many more human beings died. They say that the entire planet vibrated. Even the rotation of the earth was affected. I don't really know what that means but it is scary.

God indicates in His Word that earthquakes will increase in the last days of our planets history. Matthew 24: 7 is just one place that you can read about it. I am not a prophet of doom. I know that the good guys win. The book of Revelation makes that fact abundantly clear. God will wrap this world up His way … and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Still, it has been a sobering day. Reggie White, a former NFL superstar died at the age of 43. He helped Green Bay go to the Super Bowl two times and win one of them. He was a key reason “The Pack Is Back.” They called him “The Minister of Defense” because he was a world-class defensive end and a world class ordained minister. And now Reggie is absent from the body but at home with the Lord.

As if that was not enough, pain has struck in our own hometown. The senior pastor of the Bethalto Church of God, Jessie Wiggins, passed away this morning shortly before their scheduled worship service. Pastor Wiggins had just put the finishing touches on his morning sermon. He reached for his coat to walk from his office in his home over to the main church building. He never made it to the door. The coroner said he never knew what hit him. Jessie blinked … and saw Jesus. His wife found him minutes later. Tonight the Church of God is dealing with their devastating loss. We have much in common with this church. They are a part of the Body of Christ in Bethalto. We are a part of the Body of Christ in Bethalto. The scripture clearly teaches that when one part of the body hurts, ALL parts of the body hurt. We need to feel their pain tonight. If the Church of God is crying the First Baptist Church needs to taste salt. Jessie Wiggins was my friend. He emailed me a sermon recently by mistake. I thought it odd when I received it but I emailed him back a “thank you.” He responded within minutes with another email. The subject line said “URGENT!” I read the email and he warned me that he had accidentally placed my name on a mailing list that was meant for Church of God pastors. He said, “Ron, that is a Pentecostal sermon! Be careful with that!” I mailed him back and laughingly told him that it was ok. First Baptist might need a good Pentecostal shock every now and then. Jessie knew I was kidding. I remained on his sermon email list until the day he died. I never used one. But I might. This evening I embraced one of their staff pastor's and felt his body wracked with sobs as he mourned the loss of his mentor. I felt ... I FEEL his pain. I need to feel his pain. I need to share it. There is nothing worse than hurting alone. It is the loneliest feeling in the world. We cannot let that happen. I will not let that happen. No way. When a Godly man in a pulpit one mile from our pulpit falls we must help pick-up their flag. It is the way First Baptist Church worked. It is the way First Baptist Church must work again.

Thousands of people died within the last day that I do not know. One died that I do know. And this mighty God of ours loves them all equally. Pastor’s and pagan’s alike. “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still SINNERS, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5: 8) I am totally convinced that Reggie and Jessie are with Jesus tonight. I am also convinced that the vast majority of the thousands who died are not. How sad.

We need to pray. We need to pray that God would anoint our missionaries that are in far off lands telling the good news where it is seldom heard. We need to pray for our sister churches in our community. They aid us in our mission of reaching our local villages for Christ. And we need to pray for ourselves. We need to ask God to empower us with His vast, unlimited love. We need “Jesus glasses” on. By that I mean that we need to look at our world the way Jesus looks at our world. We need to recognize that they are desperately needy … just like we were when we were rescued by the love of God. There is no room for politics or piety. There is plenty of room for prayer.

If we don't spend much of this week on our knees … God forgive us.

What a great time of year it is! The malls are crowded with shoppers. Restaurants are full of party-goers in a celebratory mood. The grocery stores offer huge turkey's and a wide variety of cookies, candies, and assorted yummy treats for your holiday pleasures. Huge inflatable Santa's, snowmen, and even "Grinches" line my street. They glow for blocks after sunset! (If there really are aliens watching us from outer space I suspect they would be terrified to invade us after they see our illuminated population!) My Christmas tree is too tall to allow our traditional angel to grace it's highest peak. I even caught "Bailey the Killer Beagle" sitting still in the middle of the living room yesterday just staring at the 7 1/2 foot tall tree. It's plastic. (Our most recent concession to Debbie's asthma.)

I want to tell you a little secret. Please promise me that you will try to understand and not get mad at me. I'm not a scrooge. Really I'm not. It's just that ... well ... I don't care. I think I have already managed to gain about 5 pounds since Thanksgiving. My belt says so. I haven't made it to the gym for a work-out since mid-November. Too busy. I am avoiding the malls like they were ... well ... malls. I'm not a shop-a-holic. I have not mailed one single Christmas card. (I guess I am probably on Hallmarks "Ten Most Wanted" list.) It is just that to me the traditional Christmas celebration has become more like "ChristMESS." I feel so un-American just writing that. I am sorry. There is really nothing wrong with the shopping and the lawn ornaments and the trees. I'm a capitalist with the best of them. But it's all out of hand. Do you see the craziness too? Please say yes. I don't want to see it all by myself.

I want Christmas to be Christmas again. That is one reason why I love going to church this time of year. Nobody tries to sell me anything. (Well, I did get a telemarketer call in the office today. She wanted to sell me an "improved church web site." I told her that I was going to give our own web master her phone number and he would be calling her soon. She hung up. I think I might have made her cry.) But when I go to our church during the Christmas season I feel differently than I do anywhere else. You know what I feel at our church this time of the year? I feel Him. Yes, HIM. I feel Jesus there. Sometimes I feel Him the best when we are singing to Him on Sunday morning. You know what I mean, don't you? Sometimes we just sing a song. No big deal. But every now and then ... we REALLY sing a song. The choir totally nails it and the orchestra just flat out smokes! Even Pastor Larry smiles! The praise team gets lost in praise. And the congregation ... us guys that don't really know how to sing but we do it anyway because it is to Jesus ... even we sound great! Yes, every now and then. We've been doing it more and more over the last month. And you know what really turns my crank? Standing in our pulpit and looking out at their faces absolutely sends shivers up my spine. No, it is not that they are that good looking. Sorry. It's just that ... well ... they are His. They are the church. They are the Bride of Christ. Now let me remind you that they (we) are also flawed and sometimes flat-out WRONG in some of the things we do. We have not gotten our act all together yet. But it is ok. We are His. HIS. And He loves us. And He promised us from a manger a couple of thousand years ago that it was all going to be ok.

So if you are hurting ... I can tell you with confidence that it is ultimately going to be alright. If you are angry I can promise you that there will eventually be justice. (That could be good news or bad news, depending ....) If you are lonely I can tell you with authority that you are not alone. He is with you. And if you feel unlovely I can assure you that you are deeply and intimately loved. Best of all if you are lost I can tell you that you can be found. Just look to the manger. Gaze into the eyes of the Christ child. Ask Him to redeem you and He will. He promises that He will.

So cheer up. It's CHRISTmas. Whatever is scaring you or bothering you or ticking you off is going to be ok. "For to us a child is born, to us a Son is given. And the government will be on His shoulders. And He will be called wonderful counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." (Isaiah 9: 6) Don't forget that when you are at the mall.

Texas. What a state. Not a place to be "messed with" or so the bumper stickers tell me. Debbie and I took a trip there to visit friends last week. Interesting things abound. I saw a huge set of steer “hook ‘em horns” hanging in a barbeque restaurant. That is not so unusual. But they were covered with silver glitter. This seemed a bit strange to me. The next day I was driving down a suburban Dallas interstate with a friend. A brown car was keeping pace with us on the frontage road. I was looking at it when it suddenly flipped over. He landed right on his roof and skidded about an eighth of a mile. There were no cars around him. There was nothing for him to hit. He just … flipped over. And then on the way back home the next day I was driving in the left lane of the expressway when I noticed what appeared to be a black garbage bag blowing across the wide, grassy median strip about a quarter mile down the road. As it got to our lane it turned toward us and proceeded in our direction … quickly. That’s when I noticed that it was not a garbage bag at all. It was a tire. Complete with a rim in it. And it was rolling at about 40 mph. It went right by us about eight feet to my left. Debbie saw it too so you have to believe me because she is incapable of being anything but totally honest. Oddly, there were no cars in the other lanes that were stopping, slowing down, skidding off of the road, or in any other way exhibiting the behavior of a car that has just lost an entire wheel. Like I said, interesting state, Texas.

Love does it. It has to be love. Nothing else carries as much energy. I have never found anything else that is as motivating as love. Yes, it is love.

As you may have read my mom died. It has been nearly two months now. I suppose that is why these blog pages have been left idle. I have not had much to say. I have had a lot to think about. But those thoughts do not want to allow themselves to be turned into words. But for the sake of remembering I am going to say some of them anyway.

I am not sorry that she died. Life was going to get worse for her. Wellness was not on her menu. But I keep reaching for the phone. I keep having to stop myself from walking to the car to go and see her. I suppose that whoever lives in her apartment now would not appreciate it very much if I should stroll through their door. On the other hand I would be carrying a cup of hot chocolate and so maybe I would be welcome after all. It is best that I do not find out. Today has been tougher than most. It has been the toughest of all of the days so far. There does not seem to be any reason why. Usually I have one of those urges once or twice per day. Today I have had them once or twice per hour. It has made me sad.

But back to that love thing I was talking about. In the midst of mourning I was ambushed by love. A love so amazing, so over whelming, that it took me by storm. It should not have. I have been experiencing this love for many years now. Thirty one years to be exact. It would seem that my wife ... my incredible wife ... took my nightmares upon herself. The thought of cleaning out mom's home again was really messing me up. I knew that I had to do it but it was just really doing a number on me.

And then she stepped in. My wife. And she just ... did it. She took over. She gathered a few friends and cleaned the place out. Yes, I moved a few pieces of furniture. But really not much. And after I moved those ... I never had to go back into the apartment. Oh, I went back one time. But it was by choice. I wanted something special to place in my office that would remind me of my mother. And I found it. That is the last time I went into that place. Unlike the horrendous event 4 years ago when I single handedly cleaned out my parents retirement home and moved my mom here, this time I had very little to do with it. Instead I watched my wife come home night after night, exhausted by pouring herself out for me. For me. She cleaned. She repaired. She threw out. She gave away. And I felt loved. Very, very, loved. I do not know how to thank her. There seems to be only one adequate response to this kind of love. One must respond to love ... with love. Fierce love. Unquenchable love. Love that is divine.

May I be able to pour that kind of love out on this woman who is God's gift to me. And should she read this little note I want to say with all of my heart ... thank you.

One week ago at this moment I was at the hospital waiting for my mom to be air-lifted to a bigger and better hospital in St. Louis. I knew that she was having a heart attack. I did not know that she was dying. It took her 2.5 days to accomplish that feat. Chances are strong that she never really understood the gravity of her own situation. The last time we talked it was to share a bit of humor. Then she went to sleep. Ten hours later she was no more. Well, that isn't exactly true. She was available to me no more. To say that she was "dead" is not completely accurate. She was dead as far as this world is concerned. The part of her that I was accustomed to seeing had transformed itself into a piece of room tempreture clay. The heart that had been attacked would never beat again. Her lungs would never again hold oxygen. She immediately began the process of decay.

Still, I know that my mom lives. My faith in Jesus Christ is such that I really do not question Him. Nor do I question her trust in Him. And I believe that she is now, as I type, securely in His presence.

So why do I feel so sad? Why is there an empty place in my heart that I cannot seem to fill? For better than four years I was her care taker. I provided for her. I did not seek out her advice or her help. I am a grown, independent adult male. And yet ... I miss my mom. Is that silly? No, I mean really, is that silly? Why do I feel as though she was suppose to leave me directions on how to get through this? Wasn't she suppose to do that? If I had some sort of written directions, signed by her, about how to "get over it" maybe I could.

Instead I have to go and clean out her home one more time. I did it four years ago when my dad died. I thought that was enough. Nope. I have to sort through her belongings yet one more time. I have to decide what to keep and what to throw. And I really don't want to do that. If she is gone then why can't she just be GONE? Why do I have to keep picking up pieces of her? I do not mean to sound as though I am mad. I am just weary. It has been a terribly long year and she just put the icing on my cake.

And worst of all, it seems like everytime I pick up her stuff some of my own stuff breaks loose and falls apart. Ok, she squeezed me form her loins. She put me through diapers and listened to me scream while I was teething. Then there was school and dating and all of that adolescent stuff. I owe her. And, yes, I love her. Very much. That is exactly why it is so hard. And I just do not want it to be hard anymore.

I know that God called her home. I finished preplanning and prepaying her funeral the day before she had her heart attack. Her apartment lease is up two weeks from the date of her death. Two days after she died I decided to take her bedroom set as my own. I felt like that was maybe a wrong thing to do. That night my water bed sprung a leak. I drove my family 290 miles from our home to her grave site. We got stuck in morning rush hour traffic. Relatives delayed us when we stopped to let them follow us. We made two stops, one for gas and one for ... you know. We did not stop when we arrived in the town where she was being buried. We drove straight to the cemetary. I parked my van directly in front of her grave at 1:29PM. It was a one minute walk to her casket. The scheduled time for the mini-service was 1:30PM. What are the odds of that? It would seem that God has controlled this entire event. So it should not hurt. Right?

I guess my heart did not get the memo.

It is not just a slogan. It is a truth. God IS good. ALL of the time.

This morning at about 10:30 my mother departed planet earth and stepped into the presence of God. She and I had talked many times over the past year and she made a point of telling me that she was so ready to go Home. Those were words I needed to hear but didn't really want to hear. You know what I mean? Parents are suppose to be supermen and superwomen. It turns out that at 49 years of age I finally discovered that they are not.

Mom had a heart attack on Saturday night. It was touch and go throughout the night but by yesterday afternoon it really looked like she would "rock on" to fight another day. A phone call from an ICU doctor dashed those thoughts and we stayed at her bedside until around 1 this morning. My last words to her was to promise to vote democratic if she would just go to sleep! She smiled, closed her eyes, and was snoring minutes later. (Mom told me a couple of years ago to just get over the fact that she was a "flaming liberal" and that I would never change her. She was right! But she still knew Jesus very, very well.)

I confess that my heart is a little tender right now. My emotions a little bruised. Pastor's, it seems, are not supermen either. But I know who is. Jesus is my superman. He is my hero. He answered my prayers and took my mom from decent health, through the valley of the shadow of death, and into His presence in a very brief amount of time. We were spared the agony of long illnesses and nursing homes. What a gift! It is because of my mom that I know Jesus. When I was just a kid she became a youth worker at our church just to make sure that we had a youth ministry for her kids to be in. And so, in a sense, she taught me how to be a youth pastor as well. Dont' get me wrong. She was far from perfect. We knew all about each others warts. But we loved each other anyway.

Jesus died specifically so that today would not hurt too much. And it is only because of Him that it doesn't. It isn't my faith. It isn't my church. It isn't my family. It isn't my brilliance. It is Jesus. Life is all about Him. Today is a perspective check for me. I have looked at life and death from this side of the curtain and I have found Him worthy. If you look hard enough you will too.

My mom wanted me to tell you.

Water. Can’t live without it … can’t live with it. I’m typing this blog from my living room as I glance over the laptop screen at the weather channel. The awesome force of the wind-blown ocean as hurricane Charlie beat against the Florida coast today is scary! I called a friend of mine this afternoon. She lives in Bradenton, just up the shore from where the monster made landfall. Shannon was in my youth group in Chicago and now is a 37 year old with a masters degree and a family. She laughed as I asked if they had a basement. I guess they don’t dig basements in Florida. Shannon left Chicago and went to college in Tulsa and she settled down there with her husband some years later. They are use to tornados by the dozens. But this is something different all together! She was not too worried. After all, they had a pantry to hide in if they needed to.

Now, maybe I’m odd but I thought a pantry was for storing food. I don’t remember reading about them being hurricane proof. But if Shannon was happy, I was happy.

I received an email from her just a few minutes ago. (By the way, that is a very good sign.) They got to see the eye of the hurricane but she said it never felt like the wind blew over 40 mph. Those Okie’s are tough. All is well for Shannon and her husband. I’m grateful for that. She’s too nice to get blown all the way to Alabama.

Two weeks ago I sat on the end of a pier jutting out into Lake Superior from Madeline Island, Wisconsin. It was 11 at night and the water was calmer than calm. You had to listen closely to hear its mini-waves lap against the wooden pilings holding the pier in place. I watched some ducks swim by and then I look to the north. The sky was aglow. Hmmm. The nearest city was Duluth, Minnesota, about 60 miles to the west. What could possibly be glowing in the north? And then the glow moved. It was nearly imperceptible at first. The movement accelerated and began to change from a ghostly white to fingers of bluish gray. The “northern lights.” They reached from the northern most part of the horizon too directly overhead. I lay on the pier for half an hour, amazed at the wondrous glory of God as his sky danced brilliantly above me.

Sometimes water is calm. Sometimes water is turbulent. Just like life. Seldom do you get to determine which one it will be. Circumstance seems to interrupt our plans and knock us silly. Sickness strikes. The bills cannot be paid. The car breaks down. Without any warning your quiet seas are turned into raging storms. What to do, what to do?

After 49 years of life I only have one answer to that question that works for me. I can give it to you in two words. “Trust God.” You cannot understand life and you cannot understand Him. You cannot predict life and you cannot predict Him. But you can trust Him. He’s been around for a very long time and He has yet to drop one of His kids.

Are you facing a storm tonight? I truly hope not. But if you are, please consider turning to Him and asking Him to guide you through your seas. He’s just waiting. He might not tell the wind to stop blowing but He will certainly keep your personal “boat” afloat. Have you got a better plan? No, I didn't think so...

Who would have known? I mean, how COULD anyone have known? As we gathered our church family together on Sunday morning for worship God had made His message clear to me. It was one of those days when there was really no doubt about what He wanted me to say. The scripture we studied was Mark 5: 21 - 43. It is the story of Jairus and his very little, very sick daughter and it burned in my heart.

As the story goes, Jairus goes to Jesus and tells him that his twelve year old daughter is sick and asks if He would please come. Jairus is afraid that she is going to die and he recognizes that Jesus is the only chance she has for survival. Jesus begins to follow our friend. He is interrupted by a woman who has been bleeding for twelve years. She touches his garments and is healed. A brief conversation ensues and then they continue on to the home of Jairus ... where his daughter has already died. When Jesus arrives He goes to the little girls room, commands her to get up, and she returns to life. Everybody is astonished. Now THAT is the understatement of the year.

How good is God anyway? Is He good enough to show up when we hurt? Is He good enough to follow us home? Is He good enough to raise our children from the dead?

Very. Yes. Yes. Yes.

This morning, very early, death visited the home of another precious young girl. Many of us knew her. Jennifer Smith was 18 years old. Her father is Mike Smith. She lived with her mother and step father in Rosewood Heights and just finished her freshman year at SIUE. She attended the First Assembly of God in Wood River on a regular basis. She also attended our church many times. She frequented Centrifuge with our youth group. Jennifer Smith was my friend. Her smile made me smile. Her laughter made me laugh. I cannot ever remember being sad when Jennifer was in the room. Sometime during the night Jennifer stopped breathing. They believe it was a result of her diabetes. At least that was the physical cause. The real truth is something that only God's children can understand.

Jesus came to Jennifer's house last night. He went into her room. He told her to get up. And she returned to life ... but this time the life He restored was the same life that Jesus Himself enjoys. Real life. Eternal life. A life of perfection in a body of perfection. Jennifer left her father's house and went to live in her Father's house. Today was a day when heaven won one of its greatest victories.

Jennifer Smith was all set to go on a mission trip to an Indian reservation in South Dakota next week. Yesterday her dad prayed over her and anointed her with oil for her journey. He thought he was anointing her for her journey to another state. Only God knew that he was anointing his daughter for the journey to Heaven. When Jesus called the daughter of Jairus back from the dead ... back into her bedroom ... that was a miracle. But that little girl faced death again sometime later. Hopefully years later. When Jesus called Jennifer back from the dead it was a permanent calling. There is no greater miracle. There is no greater reason to worship Him.

Peace to your heart...

I remember Kevin when he was about 14 years old. He had been rushed to the hospital with his appendix in trouble. As they did surgery to remove this little organ ... it burst. This, as you know, is not good. He was a very sick young man for a long time. He scared us. You can die from a burst appendix.

Well, Kevin did not die. He got well and went on to resume his junior high and then high school career. He married a lovely young woman named Jenny. Together they have produced two great kids. Life was good.

And then the government called. He got the message 15 months ago. He did what all good soldiers do. He responded by packing up his stuff and hitting the road. Kevin is a good looking, strong young man. He is the quiet type. But that trait belies what resides deep within him. Because deep inside my friend Kevin ... he is a hero.

He is at home tonight. He is safe and sound. His children are down the hall. His wife is in his arms. And Kevin ... Kevin is not in Iraq. For the first time in a long time he is home. It was good to see him this afternoon. Good to stand in his front yard waving an American flag as he pulled into the driveway. Good to hug him and tell him that I love him and am glad he is safe. Good to put my hands on his hard shoulders and pray a prayer of thanksgiving for his safety. It was just all good.

Welcome back, Kevin. Thank you for doing the job. Thank you for laying it on the line to protect my family and I. Glad to have you home, my friend.

Justice comes in the most unexpected ways. At the most unexpected times. But it does come.

Several years have passed since that Wednesday night. I walked from the Fireside Building, across the parking lot and into the courtyard of the church. As I approached the main entrance he stopped me. A middle-aged man like me. He was drinking from a can of Sprite. I don't remember what he asked me but a question was posed. I told him that I did not know the answer but that I would try to remember to research the issue when I got home. That's when he did it. Without even pausing he took the semi-filled can of Sprite and poured it down my shirt. "There. Now when you get home that will remind you so that you don't forget." He looked at me. I can clearly remember the thoughts that flashed through my head. I am not ashamed of them. I was thinking what any sane man would think. I will not tell you. Simply use your imagination. You will most certainly be correct. On the other hand, no thoughts were going through his head. He didn't have a brain. You cannot think without a brain. He was living proof. I did not say a word. I glared. I stepped to the side and walked around him. We never spoke of the incident again. We seldom spoke again at all. I was pleased with that arrangement.

I saw him again yesterday. It has been well over a year since we had crossed paths. He has left our church. But I came across him in a combination gas statiion/convenience store. I was entering and he was exiting. We caught each others eye. He spoke first. It was a tame and suitable greeting. I returned it. He was drinking from a plastic cup from the fountain soda area. As I asked how he was doing, he turned the bottom of the cup upward to take a drink. He missed his mouth. It was only a slight miscalculation on his part. But it was enough. The soda leaked out from around his lips and ran down his shirt. He looked down with disdain.

I looked up. Beyond the ceiling. Beyond the sky. Beyond the stars. And i winked. I stepped around him and walked on.

Justice comes in the most unexpected ways. At the most unexpected times. But it does come.

I think I've said this before. It's time that I said it again. I do not vacation well. I appreciate the time off. And I know that I need it. I just ... don't know what to do with it.

Take today for instance. I got up. It was 8:15. That's not overtly late for a guy on vacation. I'll try to do better tomorrow. I showered. I fought the dog. The dog lost. I got a scratch and she got put in her cage. Score one for humans. I went and indulged in an early vanilla coke. When I arrived back home it was raining. Actually, it was RAINING. (There is a difference.) I sat in my favorite chair and had some quiet time alone with God. Best part of the day. Then I went with Scott to Missouri Baptist University and attended a class with him. This was my first college class since December of 1982. Long time coming. I enjoyed it but I also remembered why I was glad to graduate. I had supper with Scott, Kelli, and Joe. Nothing fancy. Just Jimmy Johns. I came home. I sat. I went to work out. I went to my moms and delivered hot chocolate and her meds for tomorrow. I came back home. And here I am.

That isn't a bad day. It's just ... a day. Nothing special or out of the ordinary. I guess that is what I think is wrong. There was no REASON. I've always felt like days are suppose to have a reason for existing. Somewhere I learned that. On closer examination I suppose it's stupid to feel that way. But I do.

I'll work on that and get back to you. Ok, so this was a waste of a blog. Sorry. I'm in a funk. Not sure why. I'll work on that too.