Saturday, February 07, 2009

Just call me "Grandpa." Again!

I've stolen this little video from my daughter's blog. I don't think she'll mind!

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Reality Confuses Me

They tell me that I live in O'Fallon. The sign says Shiloh. My church and office are in Belleville. Two weeks ago I lived in Sheffield Lake. It was only two blocks from Avon Lake. They called it all Cleveland. At that time I was staring at the massive ice cube called Lake Erie. Canada was on the other side. Now I can see the top of the arch in St. Louis peeking over a hill from my apartment balcony. If it should topple it would land in the muddy Mississippi. That is a river. Missouri is on the other side. I do not think they have many Canadians over there.

Can somebody please tell me where I am?

I don't know my own phone number though I have finally nailed down my address. Two weeks ago I lived in apartment 310 and now I live in apartment 309. So I only lost one apartment. How can that be when I drove 569 miles to get here? I lived off of interstate 90 and now I live off of interstate 64 so I think that I got demoted by 26interstates. But 90 merged with 80 which made it 170. 64 merges with 55 which rings in at 119. So maybe I lost 51 interstates. I just don't know. According to text messages received the village that I left behind now has well over two feet of snow on the ground. The village that I now live in has well over two inches of snow on the ground. And yet it seems to be the only village in this metropolitan area with any snow at all. Is this random chance? I somehow think not. I think that it is my fault. But please do not tell them.

I don't know my church/office address though I am able to drive to it. And I sit in amazement staring at the phone because everybody tells me to punch the green button but there are only red buttons. And when I punch them, well, people that are suppose to be there ... aren't. Please tell me where they go. I obviously don't hang up on them because other people have been able to retrieve them. So do they just float around the building, hopelessly stuck in the phone system until they finally wash out onto my desk? Somebody very nice empties my garbage can everyday. I am really grateful for that. Perhaps I will meet him or her someday. I would like to shake a hand and say, "Thank you!"

In the meantime I shall practice leaning on the constants. Obviously, "Jesus loves me" is the biggie. But sometimes I need the smaller ones as well. Like ... all Barnes and Noble's look the same. It feels safe there. Red means stop while green means go. QWERTY still works. A taco is a taco is a taco. Debbie still falls asleep in the middle of the amazing podcasts that I try to play for her. (Can you say, "heretic?" I knew you could.) Coke + Vanilla = Smile.

Anyway you slice it ... life is good.

Monday, February 02, 2009

Of Concrete and Cardinals With A "Shout-Out" To U-Haulers

Long live wall board and wood! After being out of our concrete cocoon for a solid week now I have come to recall a forgotten truth. Regular dwellings do not eeeccchhhoo cooo cooo ooo ooo ...

Oh, and it's really cool to eat at an honest to goodness real table instead of at a card table or on a random chair in the living room. And did you know that many Americans actually have a washer and dryer for their dirty clothes IN their living quarters! There is freedom in not having to drag an amazing amount of laundry down 9 (or 3) flights of stairs and pay a kings ransom to use the public laundry room in the basement of our old apartment complex. Lo and behold ... our little "love hovel" has a real washer and dryer! Whoa! What hath God wrought?

Today was the first day in my new office. So I did what any self respecting new guy would do. I turned everything around. Literally. Things point in different directions today. Why? Not sure. It just looked like it needed to be done. And tomorrow? I just might dictate a letter. Not that I have anybody that I need to write. Doesn't matter. Perhaps I shall send my thought off to the pope or Billy Graham or Zach Braff. I haven't decided. Tomorrow morning I will just know in some inherently correct sort of way. Did I mention that 5 people joined our church yesterday morning and on became a new Christ-Follower? I did? Just making sure. Cause it was a amazing morning.

And now about the super bowl. Bummer for Kurt Warner. He is obviously a stand-up guy. I was cheering for him right up till they showed a picture of Bill Bidwell in his luxury suite. Then I remembered ... the moving vans, the empty football field for years ... and I realized, I cannot cheer for a team this man owns. And so I immediately switched allegiance mid-4th quarter. I might mention that the Cardinal's WERE winning when I switched. It looked like a bad decision. Right up until that beautiful catch in the right rear corner of the end zone. Yo, Pittsburgh! Nice! Yo, Bill! Bummer for you, dude!

And finally, if you are reading this and you were a part of the amazing group of men and women that showed up one week ago to night to help unload a certain pastor's U-Haul, I have not said it loudly enough. So let me say it again ..T-H-A-N-K Y-O-U!!!!!!

ron .... OUT!