THE TOP 10 THINGS I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR
10. I want Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein accidently showing up at a Teamsters Convention
9. I want Whitey Herzog to buy the Cubs
8. I want a cholesterol number lower than Barry Bonds batting average
7. I want a scientific study proving that caffiene is good for you
6. I want the development of a hybrid orange tree that thrives year round in Illinois
5. I want new hips for my dog Bear
4. I want a youth building at church that will hold more kids than a school bus
3. I want a self-cleaning chimney
2. I want a red convertible Mustang GT with a Khaki top, 6 CD changer, automatic transmission, and a blonde named Debbie in the passanger seat
1. I want a perfect job for Joe McGill in St. Louis