Thursday, November 15, 2007

He Loves Me

Life is a sermon. Every incident, every detail, every nuance has a purpose and a meaning. I do not know why some things happen but I also do not believe in accidents. Not for the Christ follower anyway. The problem is that I do not know where that leaves me. A little girl that I have been praying for because she had Leukemia died this week. Did God cause that or did God simply allow it? It has to be one or the other. There does not seem to be a third option. What happens and is not caused by God is allowed by God. I like to know which it is but I seldom do. So I sometimes fool myself and pretend that I know. But God is too big. His ways are too high. And honestly, I usually do not know.

So I trust.

What is my part in the sermon? In the sermon you hear. You. The person reading right now. Do I have a role in your life because if I do not .... why are you reading? Am I good news or bad news? Am I a parable or a bullet point? Maybe I am the bad example. I cannot know. I can only be and do and try. I can only seek and see and respond. What becomes of my words and my actions when they leave me and enter your "zone of awareness" is beyond my ability to control or even know. It is out of my hands. How many times have I seen my best intentions become broken wires refusing to make a positive connection? Too many times to count.

Few things in life are as simple and clear as they should be. But this much is. God is good. God is strong. God loves me. God loves you. There is more to fear than fear itself. Much more. But it becomes a mute point when God speaks. In the presence of the voice of God there is nothing to fear. His voice says, "Peace. Be still."

The wind still rages outside my glass wall. I suspect it will for the duration of my stay in this building. It is midnight and I can still see white caps far off into the darkness. I watched those waves today and I understood that God keeps a running count of them. He watched every snow flake that fell this afternoon. He counted and maybe even named the hailstones that pounded the head of the lady I saw run across the parking lot. And through it all He still never took His eye off of me. Or you. And He will not. Ever.

That is why I can close my eyes as I hover some ninety feet above the earth, up where the wind takes a second breath and comes around to give you more. That is why I can sleep though I know people in pain over the loss of a nine year old child to a sadistic, evil disease. That is why I can smile, laugh, dance and even sing when I am not in the shower. He loves me.

He loves me.


Zookeeper said...

So sorry to hear about Taylor. I am saying a prayer for her family right now.

You keep writing and we'll keep reading. Your words do mean something to us readers - or else, like you said, why would we keep coming back?