Ohio -- Keeping the fish sober for over a century

The move from Illinois to Ohio has required me to make some adjustments in life. A new drivers license. Registration to vote in a new state. The maddening search for the perfect local pizza. Along the way I have made a few discoveries. You just never know what will turn up when you start looking in the great book of rules and regulations. For instance ...

In Ohio it is illegal to get a fish drunk. Seriously? Was this a problem? Were they driving while intoxicated?

In Ohio it is illegal to hunt whales on Sundays. The huge whale population of Lake Erie sleeps well on weekends, I am certain. This also explains why Captain Ahab keeps sailing back and forth off my balcony every Monday through Friday.

In Ohio it is illegal to sell beer while dressed in a Santa Claus suit. I do not know if this applies to the real Santa or just poser's.

There is more but I doubt that you can stand it. The shock effect of these three facts all by themselves will have the blog-o-sphere rumbling for weeks. Then again. Is it possible the the fish were drunk because they bought beer from Santa and then ganged up on the whales?

Hey. Sounds plausible to me.