Tuesday, December 02, 2008

I've Been Stolen

I woke this morning and walked through our concrete apartment, climbed into a hot shower, and heard my wife banging on the door. She was shouting something about hockey purchases and the Internet. It takes a lot to pry me from a hot shower but that worked. Seems she was on the phone with the company that holds our sole credit card. They wanted to know if we really were in the UK buying hockey tickets and hockey equipment. And for some reason she felt it necessary to ask me in the shower if I had been in the UK overnight doing those deeds.


I assured her that I had been by her side all night long. And thus ... our security ... our personal credit card number ... had been hacked. Compromised. Stolen. Whatever you want to call it. Nice, huh? Like the good company they are the people down at Chase canceled our card, promised to have a new one in our hands by Monday, and agreed to not charge us for any fraudulent purchases. Cool. I can finish showering now.

I"ve heard of "identity theft" before. But who would want to be me? If I were going to steal someone's identity ... it wouldn't be MINE. I'm a lowly pastor! I live in a rented concrete apartment! My 401(K) isn't even a 201(K) anymore! I cheer for teams that habitually lose!

I mean, come on. Would you want to be me? As I sit here in my "fuzzy buddy" (formerly known as "The Date Chair") I'm wearing mesh shorts and a Toledo Mud Hens t-shirt. Does that sound stylish to you? I think not. The only flat-screen I own is on my back door. Oops. Wait. I sold my house. I don't even own that flat screen anymore! I'm drinking Coke out of a can because I'm too lazy to pour it into a glass which would just require washing anyway.

I repeat. Would YOU want to be ME?

Somebody in the UK really needs to get a life. And I hope the seats I bought them are behind a steel beam in the nose bleed section.


Anonymous said...

That's happened to us twice - once on my husband's debit card and once on my debit card (which comes directly out of our checking account, very scary). On mine, the fraud department at the bank caught it and called; on my husband's I caught it in reviewing our bank account online, which I do at least every other day just for this reason. The evil one is at work everywhere. I'd think back about where you may have used your card recently, was it out of your sight for even a few minutes (like when the waiter takes it away to run through the machine), etc.

Glad the Chase folks were on top of it.


Anonymous said...

I had a customer once read me his account number over the phone and one of use transposed a couple of numbers. Hopefully that was all that happened.

Gregg said...

Does this mean I don't get the hockey equipment?

Anonymous said...

I had to leave you a comment simply because right now the security code-word that commenters have to type in to avoid spamming is "sapprons"... which I thought was kind of apropos for you. Not that you're a sap... Oh, whatever.

Denise (who is still to lazy to tog in)

Jen said...

I've had my card stolen and I felt the same way. Me? Really? Really? I have NO money. Ever.