Thursday, February 05, 2009

Reality Confuses Me

They tell me that I live in O'Fallon. The sign says Shiloh. My church and office are in Belleville. Two weeks ago I lived in Sheffield Lake. It was only two blocks from Avon Lake. They called it all Cleveland. At that time I was staring at the massive ice cube called Lake Erie. Canada was on the other side. Now I can see the top of the arch in St. Louis peeking over a hill from my apartment balcony. If it should topple it would land in the muddy Mississippi. That is a river. Missouri is on the other side. I do not think they have many Canadians over there.

Can somebody please tell me where I am?

I don't know my own phone number though I have finally nailed down my address. Two weeks ago I lived in apartment 310 and now I live in apartment 309. So I only lost one apartment. How can that be when I drove 569 miles to get here? I lived off of interstate 90 and now I live off of interstate 64 so I think that I got demoted by 26interstates. But 90 merged with 80 which made it 170. 64 merges with 55 which rings in at 119. So maybe I lost 51 interstates. I just don't know. According to text messages received the village that I left behind now has well over two feet of snow on the ground. The village that I now live in has well over two inches of snow on the ground. And yet it seems to be the only village in this metropolitan area with any snow at all. Is this random chance? I somehow think not. I think that it is my fault. But please do not tell them.

I don't know my church/office address though I am able to drive to it. And I sit in amazement staring at the phone because everybody tells me to punch the green button but there are only red buttons. And when I punch them, well, people that are suppose to be there ... aren't. Please tell me where they go. I obviously don't hang up on them because other people have been able to retrieve them. So do they just float around the building, hopelessly stuck in the phone system until they finally wash out onto my desk? Somebody very nice empties my garbage can everyday. I am really grateful for that. Perhaps I will meet him or her someday. I would like to shake a hand and say, "Thank you!"

In the meantime I shall practice leaning on the constants. Obviously, "Jesus loves me" is the biggie. But sometimes I need the smaller ones as well. Like ... all Barnes and Noble's look the same. It feels safe there. Red means stop while green means go. QWERTY still works. A taco is a taco is a taco. Debbie still falls asleep in the middle of the amazing podcasts that I try to play for her. (Can you say, "heretic?" I knew you could.) Coke + Vanilla = Smile.

Anyway you slice it ... life is good.


Jennifer said...

So glad you are back in the St. Louis Area!!!!

Shannon said...

You live about an hour from me! Welcome to southern Illinois. It's not as bad as it seems. Well maybe it is. LOL!

Shannon said...

Okay the fact that I have added you to my google reader and that I anticipate your new posts excites my parents. You see they are indeed Tower "Viewers". I havent been to church there since 2002 and quit going to church all together in 2007. If you are this funny on your blog I may just make the drive to hear you preach!

Anonymous said...

Shannon - I've known Ron for as long as I can remember. He's even better in real life.

Ron said...

Whoa. Shannon #2 ... no pressure... no pressure! I'll sharpen up my humor skills if you'll come!

Actually, my first goal at good old Towerview is to remind the people that one of our first jobs is to put a smile on.the face of God! It ain't about us ... it's about Him! That's a good way to live life. When you make God smile you tend to smile a lot more yourself. Know what I mean?

Shannon said...

Now that it's getting warmer I will for sure make it out. It's refreshing to find someone who is willing to put themselves out there in that way...

I have ALWAYS believed that God has a sense of humor. I look forward to meeting you some Sunday.

Not only have my parents spoken highly of you so has my daughter Kaleigh. She is so excited to speak out about her faith and her excitment renews mine.

Thank you for stepping outside yourself and listening to God's will for your life. It has to be hard to just up and move to a new place but I can assure you Towerview is filled with good and loving people and I pray that you will be able to renew their faith as well.