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Thursday, July 16, 2009

I have this lunatic friend...

I have this lunatic friend who is totally A.D.H.D. No, I mean really. His doctor gave him the test today. It's a done deal. No room for doubt. He's a nice guy and all but he has the attention span of a gnat. I don't know what to do with him. Suggestions are welcome.

He once closed out a bank account because he did such a lousy job of balancing his checkbook that he just gave up. He stopped writing checks until he knew for sure what the balance was. Then he withdrew his money and opened a new account at a different bank. Nobody ever knew.

He did premarital counseling recently and for the entire hour he twirled a pair of sharpened scissors on his index fingers and never once thought it odd. He could have killed somebody. My friend was blown away when it was pointed out to him.

He spoke to hundreds of church staff members a few years ago on how to survive ministry while being A.D.H.D. About a quarter of the way through the 90 minute meeting a late-arriver walked in with a suit case in tow. He paused his entire presentation and told her that she had really nice luggage. Every staff member with A.D.H.D. turned to look. Their spouses buried their faces in their hands. I saw it myself. I know it really happened.

He confessed to me one time that sometimes in the middle of an illustration when he is speaking he will totally forget what the point of the illustration is. After he panics for a second he laser focuses until he remembers where he was going or he fakes it. He's learned to stick more closely to his notes and that's a really good thing. I'm proud of him for that.

He was told by several Junior High School students once that he makes them tired. How does that happen?

He could not sleep one night when he was living alone. He said that his mind would not be quiet. And so he took three Tylenol PM's. He woke up at 3:30 AM with an entire gallon of milk in one hand and freshly made chocolate chip cookies in the other. Yes, his mouth was full.

I could go on. I mean I have a TON of illustrations about this guy. But honestly, this is getting boring and there's something shiny over there in the corner and I think I need to go see what it is.

Later.

5 comments:

Diane said...

Laughter is medicine King Solomon tells us; thanks for a big dose on this one!

neeser said...

Well, at least he should know "who his friends are," and that they'll "still be hanging around" even though "they really knew."

Don't we all have a "lunatic friend"? I know I do.

Ron said...

Neeser, sometimes "I wonder if there's any help for ... my lunatic friend?"

neeser said...

Why? Has he "been accosted by the local self-righteous vigilantes"???

Ron said...

ohhh ... if only you knew! :)