Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I Promise...

Well, this should be the week of the birth of Paisley Rae, my 2nd granddaughter. I cannot wait! Debbie and I will be babysitting The Amazing Elle tomorrow night and Friday it's "baby by appointment" time! But our job is Elle. And as such I realize that my daughter might be a bit nervous. I mean, she needs to concentrate on squeezing a new urchin from her loins. She shouldn't have to worry about Elle. Therefore, in order to relieve her potential stress ...


-to remember that, with Elle, one of us is expected to be the responsible adult. I am that one.
-to not teach her phrases or songs that I learned while working my way through college in factories. ("I love to go swimmin with bow legged women" was a poor choice and I am very sorry.)
-to not write "Hi Mom!" on her butt with a sharpie after changing her diaper just before returning her to her parents. (Besides, this has already been done. I forget who did it though.)
-"PG-13" MEANS "PG-13!" This is not subject to interpretation.
-Reciprocating saws are only to be used by responsible adults. I am the responsible adult.
-Ding-Dongs are not for breakfast and are NEVER to be allowed in bed.
-Just because a child fits in a drawer does not mean she should be allowed in a drawer. Even if she asks nicely. I am the responsible adult

-Bed time stories are not to include the words, "intestinal," "mucus," "doo doo," "magic toaster," or any word found on "" There are no exceptions.
-"Woodstock Revisited" is not appropriate children's programming. Especially in Blue Ray.
-Under no circumstances is she allowed more than 3 Milky Bones per day. Oh, wait. That's Adam Page's dog. I'm babysitting him too. Never mind.
-Grapes are not acceptable replacements for a foosball.
-One of us is expected to be the responsible adult. I am that one.

I wonder if Elle can moon-walk yet ...


Anonymous said...


Enjoy! You are a lucky, rich bizillianaire of love and family.


neeser said...

Why didn't you ever teach us those songs in youth group?

And the sharpie marker message... brilliant. My brother-in-law did something similar to my sister-in-law... but his message could not be repeated here.

Gregg said...

I just saw the pics on Flickr - congratulations!

Does this mean that you will now need to locate an additional responsible adult?

Before you get any ideas, I am in no way responsible. It cramps my style.