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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Snot Rolls Down Hill


Ahhh. I had almost forgotten. Autumn in St. Louis. My annual dance of death with The Head Cold From Hell. It started as a minor scratch in the back of my throat. No biggie. Probably just the spicy nachos I ate the night before. The next morning a head ache was added.

Today I am drowning in my own snot.

What is it about head colds? We have not yet cured cancer but major strides have been made. Many types of cancer actually can be cured and even prevented. Polio has been wiped from the face of the earth. Seen a good case of the Bubonic Plague lately? I thought not.

But the head cold rolls merrily along.

What's with that? Strep throat, left untreated, can damage your heart. So we have drugs to cure it. The head cold can't really do anything except make you wish you were dead and yet nobody can figure it out. You cans spend a fortune trying to feel better but, as dad use to say, leave it alone and it will last a week. Treat it and it will last about seven days. Dad was a genius. Why he wasted his life in a non-medical field is beyond me.

Do you realize what you can't do when you have a head cold?

You can't go to work (or your co-workers will hate you and rightfully so,) taste food, lay down flat, smell, hear clearly, keep your eyes from tearing up, think clearly, sleep in the same room with your wife if she has asthma, stand to be around yourself, or anything else that requires you to have a body. The only person willing to be around you is God and He stays on the far side of the room.

One week from tonight I'm suppose to be relaxing in lovely Southern California. So, you see, it could be worse. I'm just getting this out of the way.

By the way, I've been craving bacon all day. You don't suppose this could be the ... nah ...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

That tombstone thing was snot funny. Sometimes you a be a real booger with your humor.

jimbarnard said...

want to know how to make a tissue dance??

Ron said...

Put a little BOOGIE in it!