Thursday, May 08, 2008

And then there's my brother ...

He use to beat me up. Then we became best friends. Now I wouldn't even shake his hand.

No. It's not what you think. I love him. He's my brother. I'd take a bullet for him. But no, I won't shake his hand.

You see, he was going potty recently and I guess his phone rang or something. (Oh geez. I hope he wasn't calling me.) Anyway, he dropped his phone. This was not a "clatter" kind of drop. It was a "kerplunk" kind of drop. It was a splash moment. His nice shiny "Razor" got "deep sixed." So what did my brother do? I mean, he had just flushed. The toilet was still in that swirly stage. And his razor was getting picked-up by the tide.

So my brother ... my brother took the plunge. He reached INTO the toilet. He reached THROUGH all of the stuff that was ... well .... swirling around with the phone. He actually managed to lay a hand on the Razor.

And then it was gone. Sucked into the sewer systems of Chicago. And he was left with a wet hand. A gooey hand. And no phone.

That's my brother. He's special. And I love him.

But no, I won't shake his hand.


Daniel said...

I'm not going to shake his hand either. Hugging him may even be an issue!

Anonymous said...

you think that's bad? have you met my mom? two words for you: trail mix.

johnsonfamilyof6 said...

The only razor that should be in the bathroom is the kind one uses on his face or her legs. I will tell my Dad, when he gets a new phone, that he should never keep his phone in the potty. There are some conversations that should just wait until his "business" is done! ewwwww

Jimmy said...

I will now respond to the charges against me:
1. the phone didn't swirl away...I grabbed it, and still have it.
2. pee is more will be said about this. I am NOT a pee freak.
3. washing my hand repeatedly in scalding water seemed an acceptable price to pay for my new razor.
4. when you topple into the brown goo of Lake Erie...who do you want? A dude who writes good copy, so he can blog your demise? Or a slightly right-of-center guy who plunges into pee pots to grab his razor with all his new family pics on it, and would accordingly drag your sorry butt back to shore, cuz you're more worthy than a million sacks of cell phones? You don't have to shake my hand either...cuz it WILL be throwing Ron and BOTH of his brown balls in the Eirie.
----Jim, brother of Ron
PS---Let's count the number of cell phons that have gone to Nokia/Moto, etc. hell, by owner... Ron may begin!