Saturday, March 29, 2008

An Idea Whose Time Has Come

A friends blog has prompted me to take action. There is a time to talk and a time to act. Now is that time.

I want to build a trebuchet. The word itself is of "middle english" origin having been translated from an old French word, "trebucher" or "over thrower."

A trebuchet is a machine used in medieval warfare and was used for hurling large stones or other objects.

It is the "other objects" that have caught my attention. Having learned from reliable sources (thank you, Mr. Mayor,) that Sheffield Lake is a mere 31 miles away from Canada by water, I have decided that the time has come for me to leave my mark on our neighbors to the north. They are, after all, simply "America's hat."

Tonight I ate Lake Erie Perch for the first time. The sign in front of the restaurant said that the fish are certified. I asked the waitress if I could see their papers of certification. She said their dog ate them. I'm doubting it. Therefore, I am building a trebuchet. I plan on catching all of the Lake Erie Perch that I can this summer. Certified or not. And then ... then I am going to load them up, position the counter-weight, hit the lever ... and pelt Canada with Perch. One at a time. To the best of my knowledge this has never been attempted before. However, I have it from OTHER reliable sources that Ontario just issued their first "Perch Watch." This means that conditions are right for the formation of Perch over the skies of the province of Ontario. Should this happen a "Perch Warning" would be issued. At that time citizens of Canada will be given instructions on how to withstand the onslaught of Perch. I suppose they will be sent to the center of their homes on the lowest level. Perhaps hiding in the bathtub would help, though, upon further reflection, that is probably where the Perch will attempt to land. Especially if their is water in the tub. They will be told to never attempt to out run falling Perch and in the unfortunate event that they are caught out of doors they should lie flat in a ditch or the lowest piece of ground available. I wonder if doppler radar will detect Perch?

This is going to be an amazing summer.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Losing Your Religion

A church in Naperville, Illinois, is doing a sermon series on "Losing Your Religion." This is the video they showed on Easter Sunday. Me like.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

In-Law's and Elle

I have the best in-laws in the world and they are visiting with us this weekend. They arrived this afternoon from Richmond, Virginia. We blew the bank wide open and took them to "5 Guys" for supper. Burgers to die for. Cost almost $20 but they (the in-laws) are so worth it. We even got extra fries! Then we went to their hotel with them where we sang several versions of "the birthday song" for my father-in-law who is turning a remarkably young 75 on Saturday. The cake was stupendous! Tomorrow after I get off of work we are going to give them the tour of Cleveland. Shouldn't take too long, seeing as how I don't know my way around.

And then there is Elle. Here's the latest picture of the Granddaughter of the Century! Yes, it's true. I am her favorite. She screams (in a good way) when she sees me. (Many people scream but it's not the same.) If the world were full of more Elle's this would be a very pleasant planet...