Thursday, August 06, 2009

God's Laughter and The Man Cave

*This blog is dedicated to a certain couple that mentioned tonight that I have been neglecting writing. You know who you are. ;)

God doesn't hate me. Actually, He loves me tremendously. He just likes to laugh at me. And I actually think He gains great pleasure in laughter. Even at my expense. Perhaps ESPECIALLY at my expense. Hmmmm.

It seems that I've been working on my new office in my basement lately. She's turning into quite a beauty. A true work of art. It started off as a little girls bedroom under the decorating skills of the previous owners of our "love hovel." It previously had three white walls, one blue (or green depending on who is making the call) wall, honey pine wooden floors and white trimmed baseboards. It also had a lovely light fixture descending from the ceiling that was created from pink beads hung on wires reaching about a foot from their point of origin. It was really nice if you are 6 years old and into fuzzy things.

Now? Now it has beautiful white wainscot topped by dark slate blue walls. I've purchased a dark mahogany table/desk with hand pounded marks on it's surface placed their by an Indian tribe in the far reaches of the Amazon. (Would I kid about something this serious? I think not.)

I'm pretty much aware of what my "skill sets" are. Carpentry isn't among 'em. I can speak. I can write. I can hold my own in a rousing game of Uno, Apples to Apples, or Trivial Pursuit. I can pound a nail but seldom do my thumbs come away unscathed. And the floor on my new "Man Cave" isn't perfect. I mean, the concrete of the basement floor isn't quite flat. There's a slight roll to it. That threw the wainscot off a bit. Which threw the chair rail off a bit. Which threw me off a bit. It's not all finished but it's getting there. When it's done it will be a first class hide-away! It's got a closet. It has no windows. It's going to have cool lighting which I haven't selected yet. And we all know that lighting is EVERYTHING.

Did I mention that I never ever try to do mitre corners? I did once and it cost me a fortune in ruined wood.

So tonight Debbie and I found ourselves at dinner with a really wonderful young couple that has been visiting our church. We had a great evening just talking about life, church, God, families, and ... unfortunately ... my Man Cave. That's when it came out that the young man, the husband (who shall remain unnamed lest he hunt me down) ... is a cabinet maker. A professional cabinet maker.

That means he works with wood.

That means he works with wood very successfully.

That means Debbie made SURE to tell him about my most recent creative exploits in trying to build a perfect room in a less than square environment.

Let's see. How can I best say this. Oh, here's the word. "GEEZ!"

Did I mention that I moved the electrical outlets without shutting off the electricity? I didn't blow anything up or burn anything down. (Notice how I didn't do anything UP or DOWN? I was on an even keel the entire time.) It probably was not my best decision. I never even thought about turning the power off until I was on the fourth and final outlet. Once the smoke cleared it all looked really good.

Okay, laugh if you must. But when you see my Man Cave in all of its completed glory (did I mention that it's all about lighting?) you will probably ask me to come and redo a room for you at your house. And I will smugly reply, "no." Each man must decorate his own Man Cave. It's a personal thing. And besides, now that I know a professional I have decided to retire. I don't want to cut in to his work load.

You can thank me later. (Again ... you know who you are!)