Monday, January 10, 2011

The Death Of My Childhood

My world has been rocked.

It all began with a wonderful evening! At 4PM Debbie and I picked-up The Amazing Elle and took her to see the "Yogi Bear" movie. Me and Yogi go back. Way back. He was my favorite cartoon during my growing up years. That says a lot because he had to beat out Huckleberry Hound. And Huckleberry doesn't go down without a fight. But I was always a Yogi guy. Boo-Boo, while pretty cool in his own right, was just a sidekick.

Before the movie began we sat through a few of the obligatory "Previews of Coming Attractions." And then ... a cartoon! How long has it been since you saw a cartoon precede a movie? Never mind. You probably are not old enough. This was not just any old cartoon either. It was Wile E. Coyote VS. The Roadrunner. Pure class. Warner Brothers, I love you.

And then it all blew apart. Oh sure. Wile E. coyote was chasing the Road Runner. The basic plot remained unaltered. But today ... today he does it on a Segway. You know. That battery operated thing you stand on and it does your walking for you. I don't want to give too much away ... not that it matters ... but Wile E. Coyote did not win. Neither did the Road Runner.

The Segway won.

Can you believe that? It must be 2011. It's come down to this. The flippen coyote is to lazy or old to run and he has to resort to technology. Where does it all end, I ask you? My childhood has come crashing down. Rumor has it that Dudley Do-Right is out of town at a law enforcement conference. But never fear! He's skyping with the lovely Nell. Rocky sold Bullwinkle to a local zoo in order to pay for his drug habit. And Mr. Peabody? He's running a meth lab down on 32nd Street.

Oh, the spirits of cartoons gone by. And no, this time they aren't friendly spirits, Bullwinkle.

Sunday, January 09, 2011

10 Children's Books You'll Never See

(Unfortunately, these are not original with me but I couldn't resist making them available for your reading enjoyment....)

10. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

9. Curious George And The High Voltage Fence

8. The Magic World Inside The Abandoned Refrigerator

7. "Pop Goes The Hamster" And Other Microwave Games

6. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

5. Strangers Have The Best Candy

4. What Is That Dog Doing To That Other Dog?

3. Controlling The Playground: Respect Through Fear

2. The Pop-Up Book Of Human Anatomy

And the #1 Children's Book You Will Never See ...

1. Grandpa Gets A Casket (I am a grandpa so I'm exercising my right to use this one)