And so then I broke my finger...

I was putting a 31 inch television in the back of the wrong car today. It was my moms and isn't very old and I was moving it from just being stored into our apartment. I knew I should drive the Trail Blazer but, darn, it was so nice I wanted to drive the Mustang. Well the dumb TV that I was trying to put in the back seat of my car kind of ... flipped upside down just at the last second. I mean, I got it in the car but ... upside down. And the teenager that was helping me kind of dropped his end for a second. But that's all it took for it to crunch my pinky between the car and the 7,000 pound television. Okay, that's an exaggeration. It probably only weighs 6,500 pounds. Give or take.

It's all good though. I have lots of fingers. Nine more to go. Give me a week. I'll get 'em all done.

Stupid Picture Chronicles #20

It's finally here! We've reached the milestone of 20 "stupid pictures!" And remember ... only the stupidest of the stupid make the cut. There was some pretty dumb stuff that never saw the blog.

But here ya go. Would YOU eat at this place?

Hmmmm. Tastes like chicken.

Well, if you'd eat "hung lung" ... would you eat it if it were next door to this....????

Yeah. I thought that might do it.

It's Burger Time!

Relax, human race. After much investigating the ownership and offer of A FREE BURGER at the Avon, Ohio "Five Guys" has been proven by Dick Tracy to be 100% a-u-t-h-e-n-t-i-c! This is no hoax! I repeat ... no hoax!

It's burger time!

Oh ... and a special word to the wonderful young man who took our order a few days ago. About the "geek" comment ...I meant that as an abbreviation. It stands for "G"reatest "E"mployee "E"fficient &"K"ind. You did know that? Right?

After Further Reflection ...

It pays to "sleep on" everything.

After further reflection, a good nights rest, and the realization that I do have a handful of "Kamakazi friends" ... rest assured that I will be checking the authenticity of the comment left by the "owner" of "Five Guys" before claiming any "Thank-You" burger.

The Guys don't serve fish ... but something smells fishy here.

If one of you loyal readers is trying to "set-up" Old Uncle Ron ... I will track you down ... I will find you ... YOU WILL RUE THE DAY!

The motto du jour? "Thank everybody but only trust Jesus."

Uhhhh ... I'm so glad I blogged nice!

You just never know who is reading your blog! I just found this in my email box ...

"HEY RON!!!!
This is Maureen (one of the owners of Five Guys in Avon), and if you show your big beautiful mug in my store again I will buy your next burger!!! This may be the best, and most acurate blog I have ever seen on the internet. Thanks for the love. We love our customers!!! And honestly, our "counter geek" is pretty cool ;o) See ya soon, Maureen"

My first reaction? You absolutely KNOW I'll be heading back to Five Guys VERY soon for my free burger!!!!! I never realized that my "mug" was "big and beautiful" but if it gets me a free "Five Guys" burger ... you can call me anything you want, Maureen!

My second reaction? One of the "Five Guys" is a girl!!!! Hey ... works for me! Just keep the beef coming, Maureen!

Take THAT Wataburger!!!! Kristi ... Free burgers beats "wi-fi" everytime. :)

Sweet!

23 Amazing Years

My son's birthday just ended 26 minutes ago. But he lives in the central time zone and I'm writing in the eastern time zone and so it's still his birthday. I made it!

You see, 23 years ago today was a remarkable day. It is the day that God gave Debbie and I the gift of Christopher. No matter how you look at it, he is and has always been, one of my favorite people. I could tell you story after story after story. But I won't. (Okay, I will mention the time he had his friends duck tape him to a stop sign so that he could see what drivers would do when they saw him. As per his usual luck ... the first car approaching was a squad car. That's the kind of thing that makes me laugh WITH ... not at ... him.) But forget the stories. Christopher is no longer a kid.

Christopher is a man.

He is a full time working kind of guy. He is totally engaged to a stunningly beautiful young woman and, on October 11, I will pronounce them man and wife in Beaver Creek, Colorado. You see, Christopher (lovingly known around home as simply "topher" or "toph") never does the normal thing. And I think that a wedding in Beaver Creek is a total fit for the two of them. I couldn't be more excited!

I could tell you so much more about my son. But if you know him ... you already get it. He is one in one million.

Toph. I seriously doubt that you read my blogs. But it doesn't matter. I want the rest of the world to know that I love you ... and I would chisel it in granite to be recorded for the ages. Thank you for being my son. Thank you for making me laugh. I am so glad you came along.

23 years? It's been a great ride. I can't wait for the next 23 ...

(Okay, I have to mention the time he worked at a golf course. He was driving a golf cart, slammed into a coke machine on one of the tee boxes, moved it out of the way, and then ... ran over the golf pro. I kid you not. Other golfers came running and lifted the cart off of the poor guy. After some time in the hospital he was alright ... but I don't think Topher has picked up a golf club since. At least ... I hope not . How could you NOT love Topher!!!!)

An Update For Bethany H...

Bethany H (Hi, Bethany!) asked if we could have an update on how the "clicking" of the e-free link has increased this blogs "referral rate" to the e-free web site.

Well, Bethany, I'm afraid the news is not good. Joe tells me that we have a lot of work to do in order to make a dent in reaching #1. I asked "how much work is a lot of work?" He said ... TRIPLE what you are doing now.

So folks ... let's get to work! Click that link to "My Daughter Kelli's Church Website!" Then click it again! Then click it one more time! It's for a good cause! Uhhh .. no ... wait. It's for absolutely no cause whatsoever other than to say "We did it!" And isn't that what life's all about? Scaling the heights? Reaching the goal? BEING NUMBER ONE!

Or something like that.

I guess we'll just have to wait and see, Bethany. In the mean time ... click on, brothers and sisters! There's a mountain to climb! Joe obviously thinks it's a lost cause. Well Joe ... THIS CLICKS FOR YOU!

Burger Wars ... a side note

Okay, I just e-talked with Kristi. She never meant to declare "Burger Wars." Now I feel really badly about having gone off on her so harshly on my last blog. (But not badly enough to change it.) She was just being kind ... knowing how much I love a good burger ... and trying to bless me with burger conversation. Literally. You see, we were doing a "video chat" when all of this started. I guess Wataburger is wi-fi? (That would be a major point in favor of Wataburger.) I noticed her on and we video-chatted for half an hour or so at which time I totally lusted after her hamburger. I mean, come on! A cow died for your appetite! You've gotta show your gratefulness!

Kristi McGill ... I totally love you! You are one of my favorite people and the best kid in the youth group EEVVEERR!!


Kristi. My friend that I love a lot.

5 Guys Rule!

I was challenged to a "Hamburger Dual" by a great friend of mine, Kristi. Somehow she thinks that the Texas "Wataburger" is better than the east coast's (and Avon, Ohio's) "Five Guys." How silly! She blogged about it yesterday and I hereby accept her silly challenge. What do Texans know about burgers?!

So Kristi ... here's the proof. Game ... set ... BURGER.

This is how your trip to "Five Guys" begins...


Our first stop is the FREE peanuts! (You don't even have to order food! America is such a great country!)


The totally cool counter geek ...


Is forgiven once you meet the ultra competent cooking crew ...


Next we come to "The Brag Board" where people post their (always positive) opinions of The five Guys ...


And you find out THE EXACT TOWN where your french fried potato's were birthed ...


The burger doesn't look as big as a sissy "Wataburger" because my head is bigger than yours ...


And because it's nearly as thick as it is wide ...


Now it is time to eat ...


I could go on but I think you get the point...


This, my friends, is a burger to be reckoned with.