Saturday, December 03, 2005

I'm not on fire anymore. I wish I were. Fire I can understand. This ... this I cannot figure out at all.

This is going to sound stupid. I feel like a gray haired grandpa (never mind that I am a gray haired grandpa) moaning about his lumbago or his rutabaga or something. I kind of ran into something last week. I did it with my right foot. I didn't have shoes or socks on. When I did, I tore the toe nail on my big toe. Really badly. I tore it in such a fashion that it ripped the edge off of it. You know what I mean ... the very corner. The result is that as the toe nail has started to grow back it is growing INTO my toe. This is what the call (in medical circles) an "ingrown toe nail." Who is the genius that names this stuff? It really hurts. I'm playing with it every day trying to turn it back into an "outgrown toe nail." It will eventually work but it's going to take some time.

That's where things get wierd.

I was on my hands and knees a couple of evenings ago poking around at the hot coals in my wood burning stove. I love seeing how long I can keep the same fire going. My record was set two winters ago when I kept the same fire going for twenty three days. I was sooooo proud! I haven't really gotten with it yet this winter. But I will when it gets really cold. It's just "toying with us" cold right now. I'm being patient. It will get here. Anyway, I was on my hands and knees going at it with the fireplace poker when I noticed ... I noticed that I could not feel my big toe. The one on my left foot. The one that doesn't have an ingrown toe nail. I sat back on the floor and looked at the toe. It looks normal. I touched the tip of the toe. Nothing. I poked it harder. Nothing. I took the relatively hot poker and touched the end of my toe. (Ok, this was not smart. I know. You don't have to tell me.) Nothing. No pain. No feeling whatsoever. Nada. Nyet. Nothing.

Is this not a little too odd to be chance? One toe is in great pain. The matching toe on the other foot feels nothing at all. What are the odds? And more importantly, does it mean anything? I told Debbie that it is probably the precursor of a stroke. She did not smile. I said, "watch!" And I closed my eyes, extended my hands, and tried to bring my index fingers together in front of me so that they touched on the tips. I missed by about 8 inches ... on purpose. I tried it again and almost poked both of my eyes out. I thought it was really funny! She did not. Something about not thinking it was hilarious to consider finishing up raising Christopher all by herself. (He's twenty. We are done. She just hasn't admitted it yet. And Debbie, I know you are reading this. I'M KIDDING.)

There is probably a spiritual application here. Like ... oh ... when one part of the body hurts other parts compensate by numbing out. Now understand, that is not at all a positive spiritual application. Yet I have found it to be true time after time after time. If you don't agree just talk to anybody after a typical baptist business meeting. Those that are not angry are numb. This is a lousy application. I'll have to work on a better one.

Well, there is nothing to do about this situation but wait. The bad toe nail will be good again someday. The numb toe ... well, I don't know what's going to happen with it. It doesn't really bother me physically. But it drives me bonkers mentally! Things on my body are supposed to respond when being touched! I mean .... today it's a big toe. Tomorrow? I shudder to think.

As Forest Gump said so eloquently ... that's all I have to say about that.