Character References...

Ahhhhh. Seattle. Who would have thought it? I assumed it was about scenery. Mountains. Water. And I guess it is. But so far it is mainly about characters. People. Like just today …

He’s a big dude and young. His name is Danny. I thought he just waited tables at XXX Rootbeer Stand. (In the 1970’s the place was one of 79 franchises. It’s the only one left. If it isn’t a gold mine somebody mismanaging it.) Turns out his dad owns it. He looks Hispanic but sounds like a typical north-westerner. He recommended the foot long hot dog over the mega-burger. And he was right. The dog was named the “Dual Exhaust.” They call it that for a reason. He knows everything there is to know about this area. And he has fun sharing his information with you. You go east? You’ll get hot in about one hundred miles. You go west? The coast. Anyplace on the coast is a good place. Danny loves it here. But only if the temperature is between 75 and 82 degrees. Any less and he needs a jacket. Any more and he sweats.

And then there was everybody we met in downtown Seattle. Nobody was normal. NO BODY. Maybe we went too late in the day. Not sure. But you could sense a story in every person. And then when you come across the park … the one with the big totem pole … people get really, truly weird. They are scary. And some of them fight. We saw that a couple of times and decided it was a good opportunity to walk the other way. As we did we happened across another guy walking toward us. I think he was big enough to handle himself. He smiled at us and said, “Sounds like they’ve had too much fire-water.” We saw him later across the street from the park. I guess he survived. The girl at the candy store looked like she could not afford her own caramel apples. She suggested a sea food restaurant down past Pike Place and near the crazy park. We glanced at the menu and noticed that the meals started at $45 a plate. We weren’t that hungry. Maybe she makes more selling peppermint sticks than we realize.

Finally there was our waitress at “The Outback” tonight. It took about five minutes to discover that she moved here eleven months ago from Chicago. Lincoln Park to be exact. And she’s trying to have a baby. I mean she and her female “partner” are trying to become parents. They have selected a donor. They purchased four doses of … of … some kind of donation. If you know what I mean. Each dose costs $250. The first one didn’t take. They have three more chances. Did I really need to know all of this? All I wanted was a steak and maybe a baked potato. But she did tell us to stay away from the Totem Pole park after about 3pm. Where was she two hours ago when we needed her? Oh, and she really liked Debbie’s complexion. And she smiled at me and put her hand on my shoulder when she talked about the $250 per dose issue. Yes, I squirmed. She misses Chicago because her daddy is there. I think there is a piece of this story we have not heard.

Hey, maybe we are characters too? Maybe Debbie is a mysteriously well-complexioned exotic woman and she’s hanging out with me, a chili dog lovin, dual exhaustin, fight avoiding, straight, jeep renting kind of guy? It doesn’t make for a very good story. But at least it’s true. And if we pay $250 for something … you darn well better be able to sit on it, watch it, or at least listen to it.