Praying for Taylor

God has organized life in such a way that I once again find myself in touch with a child that has leukemia. I have never actually had the pleasure of meeting Taylor. She is only nine years old and is in third grade. She lives in northern Illinois. It seems that Taylor's schoolteacher is a friend of a friend. The friend on my end (Marcie) e-mailed me Taylor's story. I then told her of my friendship with a teenage girl in my last youth group that fought ... and defeated ... leukemia. Well, that e-mail found its way to Taylor's mom. She, in turn, e-mailed me tonight. Her letter ripped my heart out. Would you like to know why? Read this...

"I read your email and I cried so hard because I feel so lost, and so scared, and so afraid. Yet I stay so strong in front of Taylor. This is a 9-year-old girl who loves God, and people, so much. The most unselfish little girl I have ever met in my entire life. The same little girl who sat at Children's Memorial yesterday and told me she's beginning to wonder about God!!!!!I never thought I would hear that from her ever. I told her it's ok to question God, and wonder why...She started losing all of her hair yesterday and fought the tears so nobody could see her cry. I have been through so much in my life, and nothing can compare or come close to this watching your kid suffer, and there is nothing you can do about it but feel helpless, feel doubtful, feel weak. I'm lost I will be honest, I have prayed my heart out, I have cried, I have felt every emotion you could feel, and now all I have to hold on to is still faith, prayers, and strength. Please continue to pray for Taylor as we start our second round of 10 day in patient chemo some time next week. We will be at Children's Memorial about four months out of the next six months."

See what I mean? I called Taylor's mom after reading her e-mail. She was cautious at first because she had no idea who she was talking to. As I explained that I was the guy she had e-mailed she relaxed a bit. We talked and prayed and spent some time just wondering about it all. I had to tell her the truth ... there are no guarantees. God promises to love us and to be present in and through our pain. He does not promise to heal us in this world. But I am praying that He does decide to in Taylor's case. Nine years old and already she has engaged in a battle fiercer than all of the battles I have fought combined. Nine years old and wondering if she will ever see ten. Nine years old and she lost enough hair this week to fill a bathroom trashcan. Nine years old and her trademark pigtails are lying with the used Kleenex and q-tips.

I do not understand. I promised Taylor's mom that I would call her again tomorrow. And I vowed to pray for Taylor often. I am going to be in her area soon and I am wondering if it would be right for me to meet her. I cannot fix this little girl. But I do know something about loving kids. And for some reason when they hurt ... it makes me want to connect with them and share that hurt.

Would you do me a favor? Would you pray for Taylor too? She is a real person. And tonight she is trying to sleep through the pain and confusion. She is trying to sort out the whole "God vs. Leukemia" thing.

And she is only nine years old.

(If you would like to leave a word of encouragement or prayer for Taylor or her mom I promise to send them on to her. Please do...)