Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Potty Breaks And Poinsettia's

I suppose stranger things have happened. I would be hard-pressed to tell you when. I found the following news article on Fox today.

"David Leggat was stuck in the bathroom at his bowling club with no food or contact with the outside world after the door jammed behind him.

The 55-year-old, who spent 16 hours of each day in darkness, was eventually freed after cleaner Cathy Scollay heard his cries for help and raised the alarm.

"There was no reason for anyone to come looking for him," she said. "David looked awfully grey and shaky when he came out but he managed to walk up the road to his house."

Let's get real for just second. Who hasn't had a nightmare of being locked in a public bathroom? have you ever had to pull on the door especially hard wondering all the while if you would ever be able to open it again? Or have you ever gone into the bathroom of a jet plane, clicked the lock on the door, and wondered what would happen if you could not get it open again?

I have.

Tomorrow I fly from Cleveland back to St. Louis to visit my family for a few days. I am one of those guys who actually enjoys going into the bathroom on an airplane. It is kind of like having your own apartment in the sky. For a few glorious moments you are living high and fast far above planet earth in your own 3 square foot bungalow. You do your duty, wash hands, and pray. And what do you pray? You pray that the door opens. Because the alternative is to know that the next sound you hear will be a flight attendant screaming her lungs out to the rest of the passengers saying " is there mechanic on board?" Much better to give birth at thirty thousand feet ... or even keel over of a heart attack ... than to get stuck in the John. At least that's the way I see it.

On the brighter side, I spent the better part of the morning visiting shut-In's from our church. I just wanted to take them a poinsettia in hopes of bringing a little Christmas cheer into their lives. Purely honorable intentions. Yeah. Well. That didn't work out so hot. It seems that the last one I visited did not want to unchain her door. After looking over the situation I realized I was not going to be able to squeeze the plant through the minuscule opening. Not that it mattered. My new found friend finally opened the door, received her plant, and asked me to thank the pastor for her. I tried to explain to her that I AM the pastor. She would not hear of it. She knows her pastor and I am not him. She finally told me to wait for a second, closed and relocked her door, only to return a few seconds later. She opened the door (leaving the chain intact,) and reached a frail hand through the opening to offer me my one dollar tip. I looked at it long and hard. Yes I was tempted. But no I didn't. I told her we are not allowed to take tips but I would thank the pastor for her, I wished her merry Christmas, and made my way back to my car.

Somewhere out there is a pastor who owes me $5.99.


Anonymous said...


I flew to Phoenix yesterday. (Don't be too impressed. It's rainy and cold here, too.) Due to a couple of cancellations of my original flight, I ended up on a flight without my reserved aisle seat between two very nice gentlement for 4 hours. I did not want to know my knees that well. Anyway, the restroom was my only respite during the trip.

Anonymous said...

I've never feared being locked in a public restroom; now I might after reading your blog.

Curious here? 1st name only of the Poinsettia shut-in; that's too funny.

Ron said...

Uhhhhhhhhh. First name? That was 3 years ago. I have absolutely no idea. I clearly remember the moment but the name ... not in my brain cells. Sorry! Perhaps if I had more time to get to know her!