Thursday, January 29, 2009

Time Zone Wars

After 15 months of careful consideration I have reached a conclusion.

It would be a walk-over. If the central time zone ever decides to attack the eastern time zone, the eastern time zone does not stand a chance. They are sleep deprived.

It works this way. If you live in CST you quickly realize that "prime time" television ends at 10 PM. The news comes on at 10:00 and lasts 30 minutes. Leno and Letterman? 10:30 PM until 11:30 PM. If you live in EST prime time ends at 11 PM. The news comes on at 11:00 and lasts 30 minutes. Leno and Letterman run from 11:30 until 12:30. That's 12:30 AM. Morning. Don't even think about watching Craig or any other truly late night program.

But here's the rub. Office hours start at the same time in most all offices. No difference between EST and CST. The simplest mind can quickly understand that those who watch regular programming in EST get one hour less sleep than those watching regular programming in CST. One hour per night. Seven hours per week. Three hundred and sixty five hours per year. That means that the average person in EST accrues 15.2083333 DAYS less sleep per year than those in CST. Over two weeks.

I slept two weeks less last year than I did the year before that. And honestly ... I'm rather tired. And I'm going to bed now. Turn off the lights when you are done, would ya. And if you need me tomorrow ... I just might be attacking Indiana.


Anonymous said...

As ever, I am fascinated by the trappings of your mind! Absolutely maniacal and sharp! If you do, indeed attack Indiana tomorrow (today) i am confident you will prevail (especially if you got the extra sleep you've been deprived of in the last 14 months!
Write On, Ron, Write On! Mary W.

Anonymous said...

Start with Carmi, would ya? Don't ask. I have my reasons.

(too lazy to log in, as usual)

Ron said...

Okay, Denise. But I'm pretty certain Carmi is in our own time zone. :( You want we should take them out anyway?

Kelly said...

So that's one good reason to live in Chicago. (And I needed to hear a good reason on this cold January evening!)