Thursday, October 22, 2009

Tandem Sky Diving With A German Shepherd Police Dog?

Since last nights blog I've been inundated with suggestions from (usually not so) well meaning friends. They all have great ideas of what I can try on the extreme side of life. Among those I have heard today are ...
-Catching a bullet with my teeth
-Ice road trucking
-Continuing to drive my Mustang without buying new tires (this person made a good point. I gotta get on that...)
-"Dry Snorkeling" (No water outside the mask. Water inside the mask.)
-Tandem sky diving with a German Shepherd police dog

People. You are not being helpful. I want to stimulate my adrenal glands. I do not want to die. I want the exhilaration of an emotional rush. I do not want an extended stay in ICU.

Honestly, I don't think you are trying hard enough. My friends and family are some of the most creative people I know. My son-in-law write songs and tours in a band. And that's just his part time job. My brother-in-law use to be a pseudo-carnie by running games at an amusement park and he came within a hair of driving the Oscar Meyer Wiener-Mobile for a year. My own kids are all certifiably insane ... usually in a good way. My brother writes poetry for a newspaper. My wife can legally wrestle and restrain renegade teenagers. One of my daughters-in-law houses the homeless, and one of them homelesses the housed (she works for a savings and loan and she'll either kill me or laugh hysterically when she reads this.) I've been blessed to hang out with cops, Coast Guard "swabbies," a coroner, jet pilots, ex-cons, current cons, a nuclear missile repairman, mayors, national champion archers, EMT's, truck drivers, taxi drivers, a sniper, an underwater bridge pier painter, a stuffer of animal intestinal skins with Johnsonville Bratwurst, and a guy who passed his 16th kidney stone today. There is some serious talent in that bunch. And these are the best suggestions they can squeeze out of their fertile brain cells? Puh-lease.

It appears that I'm going to have to go it on my own. Chart my own course. Design my own destiny. If I'm going extreme I'm obviously going alone.

You'll all be sorry when you read my memoirs.


Anonymous said...

"You'll all be sorry when you read my memoirs."

Are we to expect your memoirs will be poorly written or are we to expect bitter put-downs based on a life that has not tried things like "Tandem sky diving with a German Shepherd police dog".

I just want to know what to be sorry about.

Jeff your brother...

Ron said...

Mmmmmm. Probably the latter.