Thursday, April 21, 2011

Getting my money's worth

There are moments in life when you just have to call "stupid" by its first name. Stupid. Capital "S." My friends, one of those moments is here. I seldom blog during the day. It's my midnight pastime. It's what I do when the house is quiet and I feel a surge of inspiration. And then there are other times ...

I was driving down good old Frank Scott Parkway a few minutes ago and an advertisement came on the radio for the lottery. Upon hearing it, it took a moment for the message to sink in. When it did red lights flashed and offensive sirens sounded in my formerly complacent brain. The message of this advertisement took me so by surprise that I cannot keep from sharing it. As I said it was a lottery sponsored commercial. Not sure which state. Could have been Illinois. Could have been Missouri. The airwaves draw no distinction where I live. If I stand on my roof I can see the St. Louis Arch. Use to be if I stood on my roof I could see some big tall nameless (to me) building in downtown Cleveland. Of course my roof in those days was 11 floors off the ground and I was only up there once. Doesn't matter. You could see it. You could also see the Canadian waters of Lake Erie. But I digress. Long ago if you stood on my roof you could see Sears Tower and numerous other buildings in downtown Chicago. That was a lifetime ago. None of these things have anything to do with why I am putting cyber-ink to cyber-paper. All that matters is that I heard a lottery commercial. It went something like this ..

"How would you like to have $1,000 per week for the rest of your life? That's what you'll get if you play and win (insert whacked lottery name here.) The game where the longer you live the more you earn!"

Really? I mean ... really?

"The longer you live the more you earn."

Have we gotten so dumb that we now need to point out to people that after they die they will no longer get a paycheck? And perhaps the bigger question, have we gotten so brainless that it has not occurred to us that after we die we no longer NEED a paycheck? Is this the very best that the ad agency that holds the lotteries account can come up with? If so, I have some suggestions. Maybe they will read my blog, use one of these, and I'll be a rich man. Well. Until I die and they stop paying me, of course.

"Play the lottery! If you win you'll be rich until you turn into dirt!"


"Play the lottery! If you win you'll be rich until you aren't anymore!" (Note: there are two ways you can take that and both are correct.)


"Play the lottery! If you win we'll pray you die soon so we can stop paying you!"


"Play the lottery! If you win watch your back because we'll be giving Vito your name and address and we'll keep paying you until Vito brings us your eyeballs in a jar!"


Never mind. I think you get the idea.

I've thought it over since hearing that commercial. I'm going to take a pass on their offer. But here's a little advertisement of my own ...

"Forget the lottery! Use your money to support the work of your church, keep missionaries on the field, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, sponsor a child at one of the two links below, and help researchers find cures to horrific diseases!" Maybe it's just me but I have a hunch I'm going to get a much great return on my dollar.

World Vision

Compassion International


jeffy777 said...

Truth in advertising would require them to say:

Play the Lottery! We want a fraction the money to go to help are state budget problem and a smaller fraction to go to the winners, the largest amount goes to advertising and managing the lottery.

You are right put you money to work efficiently give to things that do good.

The lottery is not good for anyone.