Thursday, June 06, 2013

I've Been Google-Ized!

Today I was driving along, minding my own business and not causing harm to anything, when what should appear out my window but … The Google Car!  You know the one.  This is the vehicle that takes the pictures for Google “street view” on Google Maps.

You have to understand, I have been waiting months … YEARS … for this opportunity.  I have always heard about people doing weird things when the Google Car comes by.  They have photographically documented naked people, dead people, crimes being committed, and a guy in a horse head mask.  That's just for starters.  Never wanting to disappoint my fans (both of you) I have put together a grand scheme to out prank all of them.  A plan for the ages!

But here’s the problem.  Nobody tells you where the car is or when it is coming down your street.  This is unfortunate.  In order to actually get yourself into the official Google Street View pictures you have to be extremely lucky.  And I was not.  I noticed the car as I was pulling out of my street and onto the highway this morning.  I chased it down and it looked like this …


So I turned in behind it, though I was a car or two back.  I hurried toward the intersection and got this close …


And finally, I chased it into a cul-de-sac!  I had it trapped!  Sadly, it was a short cul-de-sac and, though  I had it trapped, I had no time to get out of the car and execute my plan …

All I could do was wave...

This makes me sadder than you know.  All of the potential was there and I had absolutely no time to pull it off.  I do not know how often the Google Car comes around but the chances of my finding it next time … not good.

My opportunity for fame and fortune, not to mention an appearance on the Jimmy Fallon, has slipped through my fingers.  I had hoped one day to be as famous as The Colonel.  You know.  The Kentucky Fried Chicken Guy.  His picture is actually visible from space on Google Maps.  KFC put him out in a field knowing that eventually Google would take pictures and they were right.  His is the first ad to be visible from space …

So there it is, sports fans.  I have been Google-ized.  That's not too bad even though my plan was to Ron-ize Google.  I came up a bit short on this one.
Space has eyes, guys.  Do you feel like somebody always has you in His view?  Kind of like  you are always being watched.  Every moment.  Like ... constantly?  Don't freak out about Google.  And don't go all conspiracy-theory on me.  There are bigger eyes than that.  2 Chronicles 16: 9a says, " The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him..."  God is watching and that is a good thing.  He's cheering for us,  urging us on.  Exhorting us to be all that we can be.  And He isn't just cheering ... He's watching.  Like a father at his son's little league game, God is even nearer than the stands and He is on your side.
And so I suggest that you do your best.  Don't get caught doing the crime.  It breaks God's heart when He sees you dishonoring yourself by "living in the mud."  I want to bring joy to His heart today.  I want Him to catch me serving, loving, and honoring.  I'm not performing for the (Google) camera.  I'm performing for the eyes of my "Dad."
And that's a can't lose opportunity.