Harpo Marx ... I Am He

My personal definition of "Insane" ...

"Ad-Jec-tive. One who decides to send out a personal resume for the purpose of securing a position as Sr. Pastor of a church. Adjectives are often added to a verb to show action such as, "The man was GROWING progressively more insane with the reciept of every letter inquiring about his resume."

I must be seriously mentally ill. If I am not ... I will be by this time next month.

Being a pastor generally means that you believe in a "Higher Being." This Higher Being is most often referred to as "God." I believe that He sent His Son, Jesus, to hang on a horrible cross of execution to offer a sacrifice for the sins of people like me. God is large and in charge. It is also my personal belief that God often gets the giggles. I think it happens everytime He watches me try to figure out precisely what He wants me to do. Three weeks ago I asked God for a favor. I asked Him to please tell me by the NEXT week one of three things.

A) Where do you want me relocate to on my next ministry assignment.

B) Do you want me to forget ministry for a while, maybe a year, and just take some time doing something else. ANYTHING ELSE. Things that don't make me want to beat my head against brick walls several times each week. Things that require little skill and even less thought.

C) Give me peace knowing that I am doing exactly what you want me to do right now ... rest. The last few years have been long ones and the rest has been very healing. I mean, VERY HEALING. And maybe I am supposed to just keep doing that for a while longer.

I woke up the following Monday and, lo and behold ( <--- two biblical terms for the price of one!) I quickly realized that God had granted me my request. C! I had no stress, no anxiety, no sweat. God placed His Hand on my shoulder and whispered, "Chill." Or the theological equivelent of that. "C" stands for "chill."

All of that week He and I sat quietly just about every day. We spent time NOT talking. Just, you know ... being. I wondered things but decided not to ask them. He made His presence real. Tangible. But in a quiet way. My phone was quiet. My email box was quiet. Very little was going on.

And then came last week. To say that things changed would be cheating the week of its full glory. Everyday brought a new phone call, email or letter from a church that is looking for a pastor and wants to talk. Another one was added today. They say that war can be defined as long stretches of great boredom punctuated by bursts of sheer terror. That's another good definition for a "church search." Please do not misinterpret this and think I am complaining. No way! I am excited as I watch God play out his objectives for my life. It's just that we went from ... zero to 120 ... in about a day! In my experience God often works that way. Cool. His way is better than mine.

Who was the silent and semi-crazy guy that was one of the Marx Brothers? I think .... Harpo. Yeah, Harpo Marx. He never spoke and he played the harp. That is me. I am the Harpo Marx of the Christian church. I am spending a lot of time looking skyward, silently, reflectively, objectively. But I am not asking a lot of questions. I am just watching in patient awe as God works. I sit strumming the "harp" of my curiosity hoping that the tune of my heart brings Him joy. I am not bugging Him ... not harassing Him. He has given me peace. He really has. And yet He has my head spinning. I am mentally juggling a lot of places right now. Some near. Some not. A huge part of me cheers for near because my incredibly precious kids and granddaughter live close by. Only God is more important to me than they are. A smaller part of me cheers for far because ... well, let's just leave it at "because." That way nobody gets any arrows to shoot at anybody else. But sometimes far looks really good. Really good.

Still, it does not matter because I know that I don't get to choose. I only get to watch, wait, wonder ... and cheer. I figure that either way I win. Because winning (to me) means being in God's perfect will. Nothing less will do.

Harpo. That's me. You can learn a lot when you are silent.