Anything to get that hug...

Since assuming my current position of "kept man and my wife's boy toy" I've been doing a lot of those things that I've wanted to do for years.

Oh. Wait a second. No I haven't. That was supposed to be in my fantasy blog. Drat. Allow me to start over.

Since quitting my 162 hour per week job (yes I know that there are only 162 hours in a week ... that's called "sarcasm") I've been trying to reassimilate myself back into reality. I now know that we are at war in Iraq, Boston won a World Series and gas is priced over a dollar a gallon. What? It is over two dollars a gallon? Sheesh. And it hit three dollars a gallon last year? And it probably will again this summer? Can we go back to the fantasy blog now? Anyway, I met my neighbors. Walmart is bigger than Walgreens. Who would - a thunk it? They no longer make Dutch Apple Pop Tarts (the demise off which should be considered a crime against humanity.) It is aMAZing what you learn when you actually stop and look around. When did Standard become Amoco become BP? (Does BP really stand for "bad petroleum?")

I have also been making great gains on a few goals I set. I do the laundry. I wash the dishes. Well, the dish washer and I do. I write a lot and I let you read a little of it. I eat less. Unfortunately, I also eat less healthy. (Who knew that nearly all fast food drive-throughs are open 24/7?) And one goal was to read the bible front to back ... cover to cover ... approaching each of the sixty-six books in no particular order. I'm really tearing that one up. Hey, it's been fifteen weeks but it's a long book. Back off and give me a break, would ya?

And the more I read the more I sit and think. And the more I sit and think the more I find my mouth hanging open as all of my brain cells bail out of the muscle control business in a vain effort at coming to grips with what I am reading. Some of what I read amazes me. God is bigger than I ever remember acting like He is. My behavior is more appalling that I ever remember realizing that it is. Especially the behavior that never gets past my hard to find "internal monologue," making it into my speech or actions. In other words sometimes my thought patterns el-stinketh.

But there is some other stuff in God's best seller that just flat out makes my head hurt. Like ... I do NOT understand. Want a prime example? I knew you would. So here goes. In the New Testament Jesus tells us that adultery is wrong, wrong, wrong. Don't do it. As a matter-of-fact, don't even DWELL on the possibility of doing it. You can read Matthew 5: 27 - 28 if you need a refresher course. Or, if you REALLY need a refresher course have your spouse read it to you. That might make a difference. Ok, and then I happen upon the book of Genesis. Things were pretty hairy back then. God had just finished making the world and the dust had settled leaving Adam and Eve in it's wake. (Play on words intended.) Fast forward a couple of generations. Suddenly you come across this .... unusual phenomenon. Abraham and Isaac both employ odd tactics in that they have married what must have been astonishingly beautiful brides (Sarah and Rebekah, respectively.) You might flip over to Genesis 26: 6 through whatever if you want an example of the Isaac and Rebekah deal. You know what these guys did? Their wives were sooooo lovely that when they entered a foriegn place they told these thoroughbreds of lovliness to pretend that they were their SISTERS rather than their wives, thus saving their own hides if the King wanted to get all cozy with the little woman. (Please interpret "cozy" in the most erotic of definitions.) Both guys did this and both guys got busted for it. And here's the crazy part ... the didn't get busted by God. They didn't get busted by their wives. They got busted by the foriegn king who caught on to their kinky ways and realized that they came within a hair of committing adultery and ticking off Abraham and Isaac's God. You know the one. The BIG God. The REAL God. And so what do these kings do? They give them their "sisters" (aka: wives) back along with lots of neat stuff. I mean if you count sheep and oxen as neat stuff. And then ... then ... (this is where my head starts to hurt) ... then God blesses Abraham and Isaac. In Isaac's case God did not just bless him ... He blessed him one hundred fold. ONE HUNDRED FOLD. That is a lot of folding.

Can somebody please 'splain that to me? I mean, if I mess up by accident at the local grocery store I feel guilty for a week! Of course, I have a vast army of friends that just love to feed that guilt. (You know who you are and I know where you sleep ...) We live under the wonderful grace of a great and loving God. His boundless care and provision absolutely leaves me breathless sometimes. No joke. So don't you even think of assuming that this is a tirade against God. What? Do you think I am stupid? God has His reasons and His ways. He will be gracious to whom He will be gracious and He will show mercy to whom He will show mercy. (That one is in Exodus 33: 19.) God seldom ... ok, never ... asks my permission to do anything. This is a good thing because I would really screw the world up. And I'd probably come after you first. But you see, those guys lived "under the law." Not grace. And they pretty much offered their wives up to commit adultery. And, as you know, adultery is one of "The Top Ten No- No's." Yet they wind up getting their socks blessed off.

This is just one of those things that makes me go "hmmmmm." As a matter-of-fact the more I read the more I go hmmmmmm. Because when I am in the attitude of going "hmmmmmm" I am realizing that God is much bigger than I am. He stretches out long before I arrived on the scene and will be around long after I am gone. And when He decides to do something He really does not consider what my thoughts on the subject are going to be. He just ... does it. And I find out about it later. And I roll it around in my head. And then I cozy up next to Him and say, "God, I really don't get that one. But you be God and I'll be Ron and I know everything will be ok." And He hugs me.

And everything is ok. Cause I will do anything to get that hug.