Saturday, July 07, 2007

Phantom Vibrations of the Soul

You got a cell phone? You keep it in your pocket? You keep it on vibrate? If you answered, "yes" to all three of these questions you surely know what I am about to talk about.

Phantom vibrations. They drive me crazy. I keep my phone in my right pocket. It is always on vibrate even when the sound is on. That's 'cause when I am driving in my car I like the music loud, causing me to fail to hear the phones ringing tunes or clanging bells. You don't have to hear vibrations. And admit it, when something vibrates against you it gets your attention. The "vibrate mode" is a brilliant addition to the cell phone.

But there is a problem. Sometimes you feel it vibrating and it isn't. I mean, your leg tells you it is vibrating but when you reach for it ... nothing. No ring. No vibration. No phone call. I have mentioned this phone-nomena (I just made that up and it totally kills me...) to quite a few friends and every one of them knew precisely what I was talking about. I don't understand it. It's like you leg just decides to trick you. To make you think your phone is vibrating when it is not.

Why would my leg do that? Clueless here. Answers will be considered. Just leave them in the comment box at the end of this blog.

I had one of those experiences today. I was lying across my bed talking to God. Yes, I talk to God. Get over it. He answers when He wants to and He is quite when He doesn't want to. But I was talking to God about some things that are on my mind and I have a phantom vibration.

First it annoyed me. It distracted me from God.

Then it opened my eyes. It told me that just maybe God was teaching me something through phantom vibrations.

Sometimes it occurs to me that God wants me to do something and I do it and when I am done I feel His pleasure. That's a cool thing. And sometimes it occurs to me that God wants me to do something and I do it and when I am done I realize that it was not God at all. It was just me.

It was a phantom vibration of the soul.

There are times in life when God speaks often from His Spirit to mine. And there are times when He is very, very quiet. I rather like it when He speaks. Right now I am deeply into a period where He is quiet. And so I am listening all the more closely. He has my complete attention ... and yet He does not seem to want it. Now I am no rookie to this Christian thing. I know a lie when I hear it. And it is a lie to believe that God does not want my attention. Just because He is not speaking or I am not hearing does not mean that He wants me to turn my back on Him. No, it means He is teaching me. Through the silence. Often it seems that His silence comes when I most need His voice. I know that there is a reason for that. I have no idea what it is. I just trust that He knows what He is doing. Hey, He is God. If He is not in control ... Houston, we have a problem. And if I am going to trust Him I am going to do it every day and every moment ... unless I get careless and blow it. I have been known to do that.

Phantom vibrations of the soul are dangerous things. When I think God is "calling" me and directing me and He is not ... I can do some really strange stuff and get into some deep trouble. Fortunately, He seems to honor a trusting and seeking heart. He has never let me crash into the rocks yet. I doubt that He starts now. So I am listening. Sitting quietly and listening. He will speak when He is ready. And when He does I will have my ears turned and tuned in His direction. It is all I can do. That and wait. And time? Time I have. Nothing but time. But time is something that He made. And He can use it as He pleases.

I love God. I really, really do. I've got my hand on my "phone." I wish He would call...