Thursday, March 19, 2009

prayer and PRAYER

How often do you pray? That's a tough question because there is prayer and then there is PRAYER. You know the difference. Prayer is that undercurrent of conversation with God that you probably engage in on and off all day long. It is definite in its direction. I mean you know your utterances are directed upward. PRAYER is when you put everything else aside and direct all of your energies into talking to (or hopefully, "with") God.

If you are like me you pray all of the time. And once or twice each day you PRAY. Okay, I admit it. Sometimes a day goes by and I don't PRAY at all. It's rare but it happens.

Maybe the real issue isn't how often you PRAY. Maybe the real issue is how often you pray. Don't misunderstand, I believe in getting into a private place and being alone with God. But sometimes I wonder if the frequent quiet and subdued conversation uttered heavenward isn't more indicative of the condition of my heart than my intentional and planned time totally separated from the world and alone with God. I'm almost never really and truly alone and separated from the world. My cell phone isn't turned off. Text messages, emails, and phone calls can almost always get through. That's a shame but I'm just getting real and being honest.

I know that when it comes to my kids it was really important to me recently when, during a day of personal grief and crises they made specific time in their day to get in touch and make sure I was alright. I deeply appreciated that and it was huge in helping me get through that event. All three of them did that. One of them even got in the car and made the long drive out to spend some face time with me. Huge. Absolutely huge. But on most days a simple quick text message, email, note on facebook, or phone call reminds me of the depth of our relationship.

And honestly ... I just love that.

I'm not God but I am a dad. And I am passionate about my kids. And the touches mean everything. And I am God's kid and for some reason he is passionate about me. For some reason my "touches" seem to mean everything to Him. I guess I'm just trying to figure some prayer things out lately. I want to give God what He needs from me. Actually, I find it astounding that God would "need" anything from me. But somehow He seems to. I seem to feel His pleasure when I stay in touch. Sometimes for sixty seconds. Sometimes for sixty minutes. And I love it when He derives pleasure from something I do. It's ... beyond description.

I admit it. I'm a sucker for my Father.